House party, Scottish-style

A stay at Ackergill Tower feels like spending the weekend with a big group of friends, says Tania Alexander

If there's one holiday I'm sure my nine-year-old daughter, Anoushka, will always remember, it will be the House Party at Ackergill Tower in Caithness, in the north-east of Scotland.

Situated on a long, sandy stretch of beach, 14 miles from John O'Groats, Ackergill Tower dates back to the 14th century. It has been a defensive tower, family home, wartime garrison and ruin. In 1986 it was bought and lovingly restored by John and Arlette Bannister, who gave up jobs in London to live and work in this remote spot.

Ackergill's main business is corporate entertaining, but its clients are often so bowled over by the place that they return with their families to the private "house party" weekends held there six times a year. I took my daughter and her grandmother to the Glorious August Open House, not quite knowing what to expect.

Before the trip, we filled in forms about food preferences (important, as there is no menu to choose from and each meal is taken, dinner-party style, as a big group) and also with our sizes in wellies and Barbour jackets (lightens the packing).

Our chauffeur from the airport seemed surprised when we said we might want to hire a car and do some touring. No need, he said: everything would be organised. And it certainly was, by a large, well-trained team of staff (32 full-time, 30 part-time) who looked after the 28 guests that weekend like royalty.

On arrival, instead of checking in at a reception desk we were warmly greeted by Arlette herself, and offered a dram of whisky or sloe gin (juice for my daughter) by the open fire in the lobby - the first of the weekend's many free drinks, from champagnes and aperitifs to fine wines at every meal. It felt like going for a weekend in someone's ancestral home - the Bannisters were there throughout, joining us for meals and even pouring the claret at Sunday lunch.

There are 17 en-suite bedrooms, all different in character and with a history attached. In our room, Anoushka was intrigued by old photos of a family dog, Tottie, who lived in the house in the early 1900s. Outside, too, there's plenty of interest. Although it's in a remote location, Ackergill Tower is no place for solitude. The weekend was action-packed (a typed itinerary awaited us in the bedrooms), and everything was done as one large group (although nothing is compulsory). Our group soon developed a great camaraderie, and my mother, who's in her seventies, was nicknamed the "old trouper" as she was determined to keep up. We did a spot of archery on the lawn, went shell-collecting, nosed around the derelict Castle Sinclair Girnigoe with the owner's son, Lord Berriedale, and joined in a tug-of-war at the Castle of Mey Games, which were attended by the Prince of Wales and Camilla Parker Bowles.

We spent a lot of time on the beach - on the first morning, Anoushka discovered a family of seals basking on the rocks. We could also have gone sailing, fishing, clay-pigeon shooting, taken a day-trip to the Orkney Islands or enjoyed the golf range in front of the Tower.

Several of the guests were thirtysomething couples without children, although other weekends attract more families. There are no special events for children but, with such a high ratio of staff to guests, anything can be organised and there is always someone who can keep an eye on them if needed.

There was one other family there, with an 11-year-old boy, who particularly enjoyed the super-fast ride on the RIB boat at John O'Groats, and an eight-year-old girl who - like mine - loved the whole weekend. The children ate with us each night at about 8.30-9.30pm. Anoushka enjoyed trying local specialities such as haggis; the other children were fussier, so were offered simpler fare.

Evenings were spectacular. On the Friday, we were entertained before dinner by a local piper band. Although it was a beautifully clear evening, some of the ladies started to shiver - so in true Ackergill style, shawls were handed round. We were then led through the woods to the Treehouse where a candlelit dinner awaited (this amazing structure seats 30). After dinner, we wrapped up and wandered down to the beach for a few more drams and a performance of accordion music by a bonfire.

The highlight was the last-night ceilidh. The men were in full highland gear (ordered when booking), while the ladies were in long dresses and tartan sashes. After champagne and oysters in the Coachman's Hall, we ate dinner in the Opera House accompanied by pipers and a recital of Robert Burns's "Address to a Haggis". The dancing was a hoot: after some awkwardness we formed two lines and were taught how to swirl and whirl furiously down to the end.

It's not a holiday I would recommend for very young children. My four-year old son would never have sat still at the table or been old enough to stay up for the ceilidh. It was the perfect place, however, to introduce Anoushka to a more grown-up world. The whole weekend was very theatrical, and she was enthralled to dress up for dinner and receive so much adult attention. I was particularly proud when one guestcommented on how charming and articulate she was. It was a side of my daughter I had never seen before; this extraordinary weekend had brought her out of herself.

There is still availability for the next House Party on 21 November (01955 603556; www.ackergill-tower.co.uk). House Parties cost from £650 per person for three nights including food, drinks and most activities. Six- to 12-year-olds are charged at 50 per cent, 13- to 17-year-olds at 75 per cent. Children under five go free. Fly to Inverness from Gatwick on British Airways (0870 850 9 850; www.britishairways.com) or from Luton on easyJet (0870 600 0000; www.easyjet.com) and be picked up by car. Or fly to Edinburgh from Heathrow or Luton (BA or easyJet) and then on to Wick (Loganair, bookable through BA).