BEAM ME DOWN
This week's random co-ordinates chosen by the computer are: 49 07' N 28 39' W
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It looks like everyone's preparing for an enormous party.
COUNTRY AND REGION
Welcome to central Ukraine, where tomorrow there will be celebrations for Ukraine Independence Day.
NATURE OF TERRAIN
Stretching south from Kiev is the Ukraine's black-earth region. The rich black soils ("chernozem") of this fertile plain constitute the country's most productive farmland.
NEAREST SETTLEMENT
You are hardly in the wilderness here. Voronovitsa is the nearest town, 10km to the south-east on a major road.
POSSIBLE HAZARDS
Very poor air quality. Industrial pollution is reputed to kill some 30,000 East Europeans annually.
USEFUL LANGUAGES
Ukrainian has been the official language since 1990, but with Russians making up 20 per cent of the ethnic mix, plus decades of Russification, Russian is equally useful.
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER
President Leonid Kuchma.
LIKELY WEATHER CONDITIONS
Rainfall is at its highest at this time of year. The average summer temperature is around 20C.
REASONS FOR HANGING AROUND
The nearby town of Voronovitsa has an aviation and astronautics museum. Former resident Alexsander Fedorovich Mozhaski was Russia's version of the Wright Brothers; he received Russia's first patent on a flying device in 1881.
GETTING THE HELL OUT OF THERE
You are on, or very near, a major road. Follow this 120km to the north- east, to the capital city of Kiev, where there is an international airport.
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