Wanted: good Parker and a star signature

Andrew must turn ailing Newcastle's season round. Hugh Godwin reports

The question might have been better coming from Rory Bremner's satirical sidekicks but, in the absence of Messrs Bird and Fortune, here goes. "Rob Andrew, director of rugby at Newcastle Falcons since 1995: your team is bottom of the Premiership, you have just completed work on a £12 million stadium which could soon be staging Second Division rugby, and your star England fly-half is injured and stalling on a new contract. Would you describe this as a low point in your career?"

Of course, it's no laughing matter, and Newcastle's travails strike at the heart of the continuing conundrum that is English club rugby, but for the record, it is not Andrew's lowest point. "To be honest, we've had lower," he said. "When Sir John Hall was pulling out as owner [in March 1999], it didn't look like we were going to get rescued, and we were literally within days of doing a Richmond, and disappearing. It doesn't get much darker than that."

In brighter times, Andrew deployed Hall's riches to buy in Newcastle's Championship-winning team of 1998. Now he is angry at being forced down a similar route, this time to stave off relegation. The man nicknamed Golden Bollocks long before anyone had heard of David Beckham, or indeed Jonny Wilkinson, is at present overseeing a Ratner's of a side, and one bearing a hallmark of desperation after he recently signed five players from the southern hemisphere.

Together with David Thompson, the millionaire who salvaged the wreckage when Hall jumped ship, Andrew is critical of the way several of Newcastle's Premier- ship rivals abandoned the quota system which was designed to produce England-qualified players. "There's no question whatsoever that promotion and relegation will become an anti-English issue," Andrew said. "Other clubs have seen the writing on the wall, that you can't afford to develop English players. The whole basis of the Long Form Agreement of 2001 was to develop them in return for sorting out the funding for the clubs. That fundamental basis has been broken."

Does that give Newcastle the chance to challenge the whole agreement, including automatic relegation? "I'm not going to comment," said Andrew. "This is something the Rugby Football Union must deal with. Have relegation, but in four years' time, look over your shoulder and see how many young English players are in the Premiership. There won't be many."

So, from New Zealand to Newcastle, hooker James Christian and backs Craig Newby and Mark Mayerhofler have arrived and begun to do their bit. Two hard-bitten South African forwards, Mark Andrews and Warren Britz, are due next week with a view to making their debuts in the televised match at home to Harlequins on 1 February. Andrews, Britz and Mayerhofler are classed as foreigners, so at least one must be left out each week. If Newcastle knock Saracens out of the Parker Pen Challenge Cup – the first leg of their quarter-final is at Watford this afternoon – then Christian, as a front rower, and two of the other four can be added to the squad for the April semi-finals.

In the Premiership, Newcastle have eight matches remaining – four at home, four away. Wilkinson was made MBE in the New Year Honours, but has not played for seven weeks since injuring his shoulder for England against South Africa. "I saw him in the sling straight after the game," said Andrew. "I don't think we are a one-man team, but when that one man is arguably one of the best players in the world, he would be a huge loss for an international side, let alone a club side. He's such a linchpin, not just for his goal-kicking, but for his general play: his stewardship, leadership, skills, defence."

Leicester are keeping tabs on the situation. A two-year extension to Wilkinson's Newcastle contract awaits only the 23-year-old's highly prized signature. "We've agreed terms," said Andrew, "and, given our current position, we hope that he will sign it. Obviously we've got to get ourselves out of this position." So Wilkinson staying is contingent on Newcastle staying up? "You'd better ask Jonny that," said Andrew. But the ball is in his court? "Yes."

Wilkinson may be back for the Parker Pen second leg against Saracens next Sunday. Last year, when he missed half-a-dozen matches, Newcastle had Dave Walder and David Richardson as cover, but neither man has played this season because of injury. "We're down to trying to cover the cover for the cover," said Andrew, with a welcome, albeit rueful, laugh. Phil Godman, a Scottish under-21 cap, Earl Va'a, the Samoan signed on a month's loan, and Mark Wilkinson – Jonny's older brother – have all worn the No 10. "That's a major position in the team that has caused us problems," said Andrew.

Newcastle have lost their last seven Premiership matches. Nine days ago, when they were beaten 36-3 at Sale, Jason Robinson scored from first phase possession in his own 22, eluding the entire Newcastle backline. "That was very poor, defensively," said Andrew. "Our current position is hugely disappointing. We are at the end of three years of putting together development plans, and producing a fantastic facility for the long term, and it has coincided with the playing side being where it is. Those two coming together were not what I had planned." Never mind laughter; there may be tears before bedtime on the Tyne.