Dylan Hartley sketch ‘Are we going live? I’ve been told not to say anything wrong’

There has never been anything remotely artificial about the hooker from Rotorua

The new England captain, Dylan Hartley, right, and head coach, Eddie Jones, face the press at Pennyhill Park on Monday (Getty)

Eddie Jones described it as a “historic occasion”, which was stretching things just a little, but no one could accuse the coach’s new captain of failing to appreciate the solemnity of the moment. Asked whether the England pack needed some more “bastard” about it, and if this was what lay behind his appointment, Dylan Hartley stared at a bank of television cameras and said: “Are we live? I’ve been told not to say anything wrong.”

It is a matter of record – a record as long as a specialist line-out forward’s arm – that Hartley likes to play on the edge… and regularly disappears over it. But he was always likely to be on what passes for his best behaviour at the formal announcement of his elevation to the red-rose leadership role. One misjudged comment within a mile of a broadcaster’s microphone would have given his many critics every reason to declare open season on him and his brand of high-intensity, in-your-face rugby.

Yet he was completely in his own skin off air: if some England skippers have pretended to give the sporting public a sense of the real thing while clinging to the pose, there has never been anything remotely artificial about the hooker from Rotorua. “I’ve been on the go since the announcement was made,” he said at one point. “Head shots, media, shirt signing, suit fitting, all the sideshow stuff... all the bullshit.” You have to love him.

There was a moment, during his far-off days in the national academy, when Hartley was disciplined for wearing odd socks in training. Even now, it rankles with him. “Nobody gave me any socks,” he complained. This may explain why he intends to present his players, none of whom will want for anything when it comes to the latest kit, with a list of “non-negotiable” standards.

And what might those “non-negotiables” be, pray? “It’s about attitude – about the mindset you carry with you everywhere, whether you’re in physio, in the training room, in the gym,” he responded. “It’s about simple things like not sitting at the dining table with your hood up, doing stuff on your phone – about really boring things, like drinking your water and putting the bottle in the bin. Rugby players are messy buggers. There’s some humility about cleaning up after you.”

The “Hartley for captain” theory was gathering pace well before Christmas, even though the long-serving player and the new boss had never met, still less exchanged thoughts about the direction of the England team. “It was a bit of a curveball for me, waking up to the news that was going around,” he admitted.

But there was no disguising his delight at landing the Big One – a role performed by a good number of genuine England “greats”, from Wavell Wakefield, Dickie Jeeps and Richard Sharp in the dim and distant to Lawrence Dallaglio and Martin Johnson in the modern era.

“I’m trying to play it down, but it’s amazing to have that next to your name,” he said. “The first time I went to Twickenham was for an Under-19 training camp and I was wearing a backpack and sandals. I went through security and saw the James Haskells and Tom Crofts in their chinos and blazers and thought: ‘Jeez, you’re a long way from home.’ Years later, I’m still here. It’s been bumpy, but it’s been fun. Without the setbacks, maybe I wouldn’t be sitting where I am.”

There may be more setbacks to come but, just for the moment, God is in his heaven and all is right with Hartley’s world. Victory over the Scots in 11 days’ time will make it even better.