How a tour turned to Ashes

To Perth and back with John Crawley, the Lancashire batsman, who gives a week-by-week account of his 114 days in Australia

THERE was a real whiff of excitement when we met up at the team hotel near Heathrow the night before we flew. Some of the sponsors' gear didn't fit, and I had to be found a new tour uniform. My girlfriend Kate came for dinner, and stayed the night. It was a sad moment when she left early the next morning. Still, I'll see her at Christmas.

After doing TV interviews, it was a relief to get on the plane. I popped two sleeping pills and woke up in Perth. We checked in at the Sheraton, which is not as luxurious as we had been led to believe. I was rooming with Shaun Udal, whom I hardly know. He seems a bit quiet.

Over the next few days the pattern seemed to be: practice in the morning, golf in the afternoon and some hearty socialising in the evenings. Some of the pubs are really huge. The Sunday swill here was more like a scene from Apocalypse Now than the local back home.

It was good to be back in Perth, where I spent three months playing Grade cricket five years ago. I was disappointed not to be picked for the first game against the ACB Chairman's XI, especially after Craig White broke Alec Stewart's finger in practice.

MET UP with some old friends from the Midland-Guildford club in Perth, who came to watch our match. We beat the Chairman's XI easily, but the trip back to the hotel took nearly two hours. All the roads were blocked off near the hotel. A gunman was holding up the main police station near the Waca ground. He eventually gave himself up, but we could hear shots being fired all night.

We had some practice under lights before our one-day game against Western Australia, which we lost. The lights are really bright and took some getting used to, especially judging flat catches. Played golf at Joondalup golf club, where I discovered the charms of Houghton's white burgundy.

First big game of the tour against Western Australia. It was a moral victory to us even though they played well to hang on for a draw after Devon's thunderbolts had destroyed them in the first innings. I played pretty well, being unbeaten in both innings for 40 and 67. It was great to bat with Hicky, who made 172. His chats at the crease gave me real confidence.

Flew to Adelaide. It took seven hours door to door, so I had an early night with my new room-mate, Joey Benjamin, who, like me, is partial to more than his fair share of shut-eye. We should get on well.

IT WAS cold and windy for the whole of the game against South Australia in Adelaide. I was asked to open the innings, which I had mixed feelings about. My apprehensions proved prescient as I recorded my first ever pair. I felt really pissed off, as I had always told my Lancashire team-mates that I'd never get a pair. I went out and got wasted afterwards. We always looked likely to win the game once Martin McCague had bowled them out for 102 in their first innings.

Flew to Canberra and went to the Benson and Hedges one-day launch at Parliament House. Met the Prime Minister Paul Keating. I can't say I'm a great fan, in view of his thoughts on all things English.

Narrowly lost to the Prime Minister's XI on a poor pitch. I wasn't brimming with confidence after my pair, and just made it into double figures. Afterwards, we went to the British High Commission. I don't mind these functions. A bit of small talk never hurt anyone, but you know when it's time to go.

Off to Sydney, and then to Newcastle by coach. I slept most of the way. My new roomy was Devon, not the kind of bloke you argue with. So when he just plonked his stuff down on the double bed, leaving me with the single, I wasn't about to question him.

After a practice, some of us went to the beach and mucked about with a rugby ball. It turned into a photo opportunity when someone gave Goughie a surfboard and a Tetley hat. Bumped into Michael Slater, Mark Waugh and Michael Bevan, so we had a beer with them.

We didn't play at all well against New South Wales, and lost the game. Encountered the first questionable umpiring decisions of the tour. I was given out off a bump ball which upset me. Ominously, all their Test batsmen looked in good nick - apart from Bevan.

Big game in Hobart as the First Test beckoned, and they fielded what was effectively their Australia A side. There was a feeling that by making us play in Hobart - which is cold and windy - immediately before we play the Test in hot and humid Brisbane, the Australian Cricket Board were pulling a fast one.

At this point I was convinced I would play in the first Test. Apart from resting Devon, I was sure it was the side Athers thought would take the field in Brisbane a week later. We drew, but it was unsatisfactory because we followed on and only a few got a bat second time round.

Hobart's a beautiful place and nearly everyone won at the casino. It was funny watching Gatt jogging back from the ground with Rooster [Dave Roberts, the physio] and Goochie after the day's play. By the time the others had crossed the huge suspension bridge across the Derwent, Gatt was still battling the headwind halfway across.

IT CAME as a real shock when I was told I wasn't playing in the Brisbane Test. I should have seen the danger signs when Fletch kept asking me if I'd had enough batting in the nets. Enjoyed rather too much hospitality at the Benson and Hedges Test launch. They served the wine in glasses like goldfish bowls, certainly big enough to drown in, which I felt like doing.

I'm a poor watcher, and the five days spent watching the Test from the dressing-room seemed more like three weeks. Got myself a book, Cross Killer by Marcel Montecino, a cop story about race killings in Los Angeles.

Losing Devon to chicken pox definitely boosted the Aussies, as did winning the toss. We didn't bowl well and we stuffed up our first innings. You simply cannot do that in Test cricket.

Watching Warnie turn it yards didn't bode well for the future, though Hicky and Thorpey coped pretty well in the second innings. I couldn't believe Mark Taylor didn't enforce the follow-on. We were mentally shot after being bowled out for 167. I thought all Aussies have a natural killer instinct. By batting again, he gave us an out. Unfortuntely, we didn't quite make it through the door.

I NEVER mind flying in to Sydney because it's got a McDonald's. I always feel a bit peckish when we land, and needed a late breakfast before our coach trip to Bowral.

It was nice to get a game in Sir Don's home town before moving on to Canberra again. We won a tight one-dayer, and I got some confidence back with 91 not out. Met up with Steve O'Shaugnessy (ex- Lancashire) who plays for ACT now. I don't know how he copes living in Canberra - it's the world's dullest place.

Back in Sydney for our first one-day international under lights. I felt sure I'd have played but for a torn calf muscle sustained at practice. Missed the chance to play against Australia in front of 50,000. We lost after being in a great position.

DECIDED to go for the quick heal, as Rooster calls it. Instead of resting the injury, he just got his fingers into it twice a day. It was agony, but it worked. Felt for Martin McCague, who got sent home with his injury. Gus [Fraser] joined us as replacement and he is well received. We'd been crying out for someone to complement Dev's pace by dropping it on the spot.

First signs of fatigue creeping in. The humiliation of losing to the Academy side once was not enough to galvanise us into preventing it happening again. Yet despite the shock we comfortably beat Australia A in Melbourne.

My debut one-day international against Zimbabwe was an inauspicious occasion as we lost. I batted too slowly for my 18 runs, putting too much pressure on those who followed. After the game, went out for a few drinks in a bar called Studebakers. With the day-night games not finishing until late, the adrenalin is still pumping, and you need to wind down.

BACK TO four-day cricket with a match against Queensland in Toowoomba. This is meant to be home to redback spiders, but I didn't see one. I went for a Mexican meal with Goughie and then to a pub. It's the kind of place where all heads turn as you come through the door.

We won a thrilling match, with Gatt scoring a brilliant 200. I scored 91, but it was the luckiest knock I can recall. Great to notch up a win just before the Second Test. Celebrated by seeing Pulp Fiction, which I didn't rate. Mind you, it was safer than going to the pub.

BACK at the Regent Hotel in Melbourne. The rooms were huge, as big as my flat in south Manchester. Kate arrived with some of the other wives and girlfriends for Christmas. It was wonderful to see her as she wandered through customs. It gave me a much-needed boost, as I knew I wouldn't be playing in the Second Test, since Gatt had got those big runs.

The Christmas fancy-dress party was brilliant. I went as a genie and Kate as a harem girl. We were all in buoyant mood as we'd got Australia 220 for seven the day before. Athers kicked the karaoke off by singing Cliff Richard's "Bachelor Boy" dressed as Robin Hood.

Boxing Day was a disaster. Just when we could have got on top, 119 for one became 140 for four. Three dubious decisions knocked the stuffing out of us and we never recovered. McDermott and Warne finished us off in the second innings.

Spirits were low. Thank goodness the wives and girlfriends were here; otherwise we could have become really morose.

WENT to the opening night of Cats in Sydney, then down to the Opera House to watch the fireworks. It was an awesome display. I knew I'd be playing the next day in the Third Test so I didn't bother to see the New Year in and went to bed.

I came in at a difficult time, with us at 20 for three, so I was really pleased that my 72 helped right things. It felt good to have done something for England at long last and achieve a bit of success at this level. Mum, dad and Kate were all there to see it.

Athers played well, too, but it was Goughie who gave us a real lift, by smashing a quick 50. He bowled brilliantly as well and it was a real pity we didn't get them to follow on. Then we'd have definitely won. Still, we went close, though I dropped a crucial catch when I put down Slater off Tuffers at mid-off. I'd back myself to catch it seven times out of 10. It was a devastating moment for me to let the team down at such a vital moment.

It was frustrating to get so close to beating them, but it was a worthy fightback, and the good feeling we had from at last outplaying the Aussies was only tempered in my case by bidding farewell to Kate as we flew into Brisbane to resume the one-dayers.

IT WAS a tense period as we needed to win a least two of our three games to qualify for the one-day finals. It was really hot and humid at the Gabba and Thorpey had to go to hospital with dehydration after his hectic knock gave us a winning total against Zimbabwe.

Athers became embroiled in a bit of controversy with a piece he did for the Mail on Sunday about selection. It was rumoured that their correspondent had got him on the Petaluma Riesling, a lovely wine we subsequently named the truth drug.

Beating Australia after Goughie went down injured bowling his first ball was a sensational effort. The team responded magnificently after Athers told us to raise our game. Gus bowled brilliantly in front of a crowd of 75,000, and the noise they made when Australia hit a four was deafening.

When it looked like we'd make the finals we fell at the last hurdle against Australia A. They took one-day cricket to a new dimension with their running between the wickets. If we'd played against three international sides and not qualified we'd have been disappointed. But when you don't reach the finals playing only two international sides and a second XI, it's more than disappointment, it's embarrassment. There was real anger in the dressing-room afterwards.

HAD three days off in Sydney to get away from it all before flying to Melbourne. I spent it mostly lying in, having long lunches with the boys, or lounging on the beach.

Back to Melbourne, where we watched Boris Becker play Patrick McEnroe in the Australian Open. None of us went to the one-day finals; watching the two Australias slugging it out was too much to bear.

On to Bendigo, home town of Craig White, where we played Victoria over four days. It is a typical country town with nothing to do. I stayed in, had room service, and played cards.

Rooster broke his finger taking fielding practice which didn't leave a dry eye in the house (laughing, not crying). Hicky played well again though it was plain that something was wrong with his back. His absence, and Stewie's worsening finger, were probably the reasons we didn't chase the target Dean Jones set us, and the game was drawn.

HICKY was ruled out of the Fourth Test with a herniated disc. The amount of injuries had become farcical. The Test started on Australia Day, so both national anthems were played. When "God Save the Queen" blared out, we sang our hearts out, along with most of the Barmy Army. It really got us fired up. We should have them before every Test, like football and rugby.

Had a good first day. We knew we had to win the last two Tests and to do that we needed runs on the board, which we did, albeit slowly. Gatt's hundred was a staunch effort, but we let it drift when we bowled badly at them on the third day.

Greg Blewett's century in his maiden Test was a superb achievement. Their players always seem to take their chances; they are brought up in a system that pits greater competition over fewer opportunities.

Our win really revolved around Daffy's pyrotechnics on the last day, though Thorpey got the ball rolling with an aggressive 83 the day before. We knew that if we could dislodge one of the openers early on, the others might panic a bit, especially when chasing a decent total.

Brilliant night afterwards, which began with champagne back at the hotel before a sing-song with supporters. The Aussies were staying at the same hotel and the punters booed them as they went out. They probably felt as we'd done for most of the tour.

Goochie announced his retirement during the Test. He has a testimonial this year and he kicked it off with a dinner in Adelaide. He also got Don Bradman to sign a few things; it was a real thrill to meet the great man.

ALTHOUGH most of us were feeling really positive before the final Test, you've always got one eye on that Jumbo jet home. I know you shouldn't think like that, but it's hard not to at the end of a 114- day tour.

Our hearts sank a bit when we lost the toss. We bowled well but dropped at least 10 catches. We simply didn't back the bowlers up in the field and I was as guilty as anyone. You can't expect to win a Test when you drop half that number and we fell away badly in the second innings, having nothing left to give as the Aussies swarmed all over us. Got my second pair of the trip.

Had a drink with the Aussies in their dressing-room afterwards. They are good lads but are deadly when on top and are much harder and more confident than us.

Had a bit of a party afterwards but the night club had been invaded by the Barmy Army and was too packed. On the flight home, I drank until Bangkok and slept until London. But then, who didn't?