Masters 2019: Henni Zuel’s comeback from retirement and mental anguish to interviewing Tiger Woods
Exclusive interview: After her professional career was cruelly cut short by a debilitating back injury, the Salisbury-born presenter has found happiness after years of struggles and soul-searching
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Your support makes all the difference.It began at home, lost on the sofa. Three years after Henni Zuel’s professional golf career was cut short by a slipped disc in her spine, she finally gave up on the comebacks she’d wistfully concocted from the stillness of her living room. The cycle of missed cuts and despairing visits to psychologists had left her with an anxiety towards the sport that only seemed to surface something painful. Finally, she accepted the cruel twist of fate’s hollow and heartbreaking reality; it was over.
A precocious talent since dropping to a handicap of two aged 13, Zuel reflects candidly on the plunge into depression that followed her retirement. The loneliness having left school at 16 so she could pursue unprecedented success as a junior. The subsequent weight gain that arose from attempting to eat away at the emptiness, and appease the sense that she had somehow let those close to her down by not fulfilling her potential.
“From the age of 10, being a pro was all I had imagined for every single waking hour. Everything I ever did was with the aim of lifting major trophies. The first few months after I’d decided to stop playing, I’d just wake up and think ‘well, what do I do’. I didn’t even know how to structure a day. When you’re an athlete you keep telling yourself that you should be able to deal with those things and control your mind, but then it spirals into depression. It took a long time for me to separate myself from golf and work out who I actually was.”
It’s a far removed portrait from the former Sky Sports, now GOLFTV presenter, whose bubble and grace has seen her established as one of golf’s best broadcasters, bridging the gap between professional insight and a charming familiarity.
The steps to the studio, though, were not quickly covered ground. “God no!” She laughs. “I never imagined I’d be doing this one day at all. To be honest, I hated it at the start, I really hated it. Having to sit and watch golf when I just wanted to be out there, it was like torture.”
One particularly bad presentation during Zuel’s early trials with Sky rekindled those doubts she’d made steady progress in consigning to a corner of the subconscious. An anguish that her newfound career might too be cut short before it had time to flourish
“I’d get in my own head about what other people thought of me. I would see the comments on Twitter like, ‘she has a monotone voice’ or ‘she’s so boring’ and those criticisms, paired with my feelings that I could’ve achieved more, created a perfect storm for me to really worry and think ‘am I good enough to be here?’”
“I was naturally quite shy growing up and didn’t particularly want to be thrust into that spotlight position. But once I started to progress and cover major tournaments and the Ryder Cup, I really started to enjoy it. It almost simulated the pressure of playing, knowing that when the camera is on, I have to perform.”
Zuel has long since outrun those critics and has become a source of regular admiration and envy in her position with GOLFTV as the only interviewer with exclusive access to Tiger Woods. The surreal nature of speaking to her idol at first brought a wave of nerves. “The first time I did an interview with Tiger, we were with Freddie Couples at Riviera and the camera was about to roll and I did have a moment of ‘OK, I better not mess this up’.”
But soon it began “to feel like interviewing an old friend” and she revelled in coaxing little known insights from the 14-time major champion. “He’s been way more open than I could have ever imagined,” she says. “I think a lot of people would underestimate just how intelligent he is. He’s so sharp and switched on. When you’re around someone who’s the best at what they do, it feeds into your own behaviour and it changed how I approach things in my own life. In that way, I think he’s helped me without even knowing it.”
Zuel’s soul-searching that took her to and from the sport has come to harmony, even if she still wrestles with intermittent pangs of desire to be inside the ropes. And having embraced that freedom, as she prepares to cover her first Masters, her happiness has returned from the shade brighter than ever.
“I’m more comfortable in my own skin now. I enjoy my days now more than I ever did when I was playing. I don’t want to sound like a big ball of walking clichés,” she says, before breaking into laughter. “But I really have learned to love what I do.”
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