Outside Edge: Itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny trouble

The inaugural fillies' and mares' race planned for 4 December at the Bundall racetrack in Australia's Gold Coast City has run into a spot of trouble with the sport's state governing body, Racing Queensland Ltd. The idea of women in beachwear bursting from the stalls for a dash down the main straight in the Bikini Track Sprint, first prize £3,000, somehow doesn't appeal to the RQL chairman, Bob Bentley, but the Gold Coast Turf club aren't backing down. Perhaps they should leave the final decision to Gold Coast City's mayor, Ron Clarke, who spent quite a lot of time himself running on a track in skimpy clothing in the 1960s, setting 17 middle-distance world records in the process. No such fuddy-duddy attitudes in Sydney, where last week four sheilas set a world record for the fastest relay race in stilettos, teetering the 4 x 80m course in 1min 04sec wearing 3in heels. Stay classy, Australia.

0

The number of fans who travelled to support Blue Square Conference side Histon as they made the six-and-a-half hour, 330-mile round trip from north of Cambridge to play Wrexham last weekend. They weren't bad judges; the second-from-bottom Stutes lost 4-0, their fourth straight defeat.

The best and wurst of times

Hamburg's St Pauli club may not be the most successful team in the Bundesliga, but they certainly know how to look after their fans. Not content with equipping their football-special trains with beer on tap, they have now built individual beer pumps into the seats in their VIP section. Hungry? No problem – St Pauli have constructed a model railway that runs from the club kitchens to the VIP seats every five minutes, loaded with freshly cooked sausages. Sounds more fun than a prawn sandwich at Old Trafford. Down in the German fifth division, SC Westfalia Herne can't afford such luxuries - in fact they're broke, so to raise money they're holding a raffle at €20 a ticket for the right to rename their 32,000-capacity stadium. The winner can choose any name as long as it's not offensive, racist, unpronounceable or already in use by another club. But now Young Boys Berne play at the Stade de Suisse, Wankdorf is up for grabs..

Good week

Emma Pooley became the first British cyclist to win the women's time trial atthe Road World Champion-ships in Melbourne. Paula Radcliffe, Britain's pre-eminent marathon runner, gave birth to a son, Raphael. Ethan Peel became at 15 the youngest qualified cricket umpire to officiate in Britain when he stood in a friendly between Tiddington and Nomads. James Field set a world bungee record, making 42 jumps in an hour from a crane near Tower Bridge.

Bad week

Katie Price, British equestrian hopeful for the 2012 Olympics, was fined £1,000 for using her mobile phone while driving a horsebox. English balloonist David Hempleman-Adams failed to retain his world title after being forced down in Serbia by bad weather after 1,248 miles. The former England rugby union captain Steve Borthwick faces a fine after choosing to visit the Munich beer festival with his Saracens team-mates rather than attendthe Heineken Cup launch.

Stirring contest for those doing porridge

Oh, the shame – the reigning world porridge-making champion is an American from Oregon, Matthew Cox, with apparently not a drop of Caledonian blood in him. Next Sunday, which also happens to be World Porridge Day, the natives have the chance to show they haven't lost their skills in preparing Scotland's pre-eminent national dish as they do battle for the Golden Spurtle trophy in this year's championships at the small Highland village of Carrbridge (a spurtle is a stirrer, apparently). Johnny Foreigner also has a habit of making away with the top prizes in the World Conker Championships, which take place on the same day at New Lodge Fields near Oundle, Northamptonshire; the Froggies enjoy nipping over the Channel and knackering our proud English nuts before retreating home with the spoils. Time to stiffen our spurtles and secure our strings.