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Your support makes all the difference.Today's Race of Champions at Wembley, when cyclist Chris Hoy races Lewis Hamilton's car in "Man against machine", is just a load of testosterone-fuelled publicity-seeking. So let's celebrate lesser-known champions like Ed Houben of Maastricht, identified as Europe's greatest sperm donor this month, who has fathered 46 children. In a contest of "Man against beast", he could take on The Field Marshall, from Alstone, Somerset, who has been crowned Britain's biggest bull at more than 3,500lb. And when better to let off steam than next Sunday's Global Orgasm Day, when we are encouraged to "send a wave of positive intention into the quantum field of the Earth" – between 11am and 1pm.
£41,667
The wage that Wayne Rooney's missus Coleen earns per month for her columns in 'OK!' magazine, according to court papers filed by the agency Proactive as they chase down unpaid bills. Don't expect any tips on economising in the credit crunch. Between them they are worth £35m.
Thumb twiddlers of the week
If Formula One teams want to save money, they could do worse than recruit Rene, who has been racing through the streets of France in a Super Mario Kart dressed as the computer game plumber, throwing banana skins under the wheels of other cars. The World Rally Championship is feeling the pinch with teams costing £40m to run and little publicity to pay for it. To generate more interest, WRC is launching an online service that lets fans pit themselves against the real drivers during the events by downloading race data from the cars' "black boxes". Game-boys should get out more, like Rene. Anyone for thumb-wrestling?
Good week for...
Lennox Lewis, former heavyweight champ elected to the International Boxing Hall of Fame... Padraig Harrington, Irish golfer named European player of the year for a second year running... Graeme Swann, spinner took two wickets in his first over in Test cricket in Chennai... and Premiership rugby, secured a three-year deal with Sky and Setanta worth £54m.
Bad week for...
Brad Clegg, spectator whose camera was smashed by golfer John Daly against a tree at the Australian Open... Chris Lewis, former England cricketer arrested attempting to smuggle 4kg of liquid cocaine into Gatwick in tins of fruit... Ricky Stuart, sacked as Australia's Rugby League coach after abusing World Cup final referee.... and the Boat Race, ditched by ITV despite drawing in 7.6m viewers last year.
Posh swingers of the week
The climax to the polo season takes place at Palermo this weekend with the final of the Argentine Open, in which La Dolfina take on Ellerstina for the third time in four years. But it's back to the drawing board for the 13th Duke of Argyll, whose Chivas Regal Scotland team lost 6-1 to Air Tuskers England in the final of the 27th World Elephant Polo Championships in Megahauly, Nepal. His team trained at the Duke's Inveraray Castle by perching on its massive stone mantelpieces. It's good to know the aristocracy are keeping busy. This week the Duke of York was accused in court of using Buckingham Palace's security guards as ball boys to fetch his golf balls when he practises his swing.
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