Jack Green puts demons behind him to get back on track

Athlete's world fell apart after he fell in the 400m hurdles at London 2012 but he tells Matt Majendie that he has now learnt to deal with his depression

Jack Green shows his despair after falling in the semi-finals of the men’s 400m hurdles at the London Olympics (GETTY IMAGES)

The last time Jack Green wore a GB vest it was supposed to be the highlight of his career. But in the semi-finals of the 400m hurdles at London 2012, he hit one of the barriers and clattered to the ground.

He has faced infinitely worse obstacles since then in his battle with depression which took him away from athletics and only saw him return to GB colours last weekend at the IAAF World Relays in the Bahamas. There was to be no medal on his comeback, but simply putting on the team vest was reward enough.

“It’s just nice to be back,” Green says. “It’s exciting, as there are times when I wasn’t sure I’d be back in the sport. There’s a lot of people that didn’t think I’d return, so it’s nice to be back.”

The doubts were understandable: Green’s depression became so bad that he felt suicidal. But having come to terms with his illness, he is reluctant to dwell on the past and his focus is simply on keeping well: “Obviously it was a bad time but I’ve talked about it a lot and I’m trying to move on from that a bit.

“Unfortunately, depression is a horrible thing, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone and hopefully it doesn’t happen again. I’ll spend the rest of my life with depression now but I know how to handle it.”

The journey back has been a long one, helped by medication – which he no longer takes – and visits to a psychiatrist organised by British Athletics. His return was capped by last weekend’s competition and also delivering an internet talk on the subject of depression last week.

His battle with the illness took him away from all he had ever known, namely running, which he had effectively done professionally since the age of 18. It earned him a Nike contract, National Lottery funding and enough money to buy a home in Bath.

That home has since been sold. Green rejected funding, knowing he had no intention of running at the time, and he is now living solely off his savings, having swapped Bath for Bradenton in Florida where he trains under coach Loren Seagrave. He describes it as a ghost town and, without the money for a car, life off the track is limited, but he has re-energised a love for running that never totally went away.

“I love the sport,” he says. “I’m not sure I fell out of love with the sport, more with life itself and my life. The problem was that athletics was my life so it was just a knock-on effect in that respect.”

Green has a remarkable awareness of his illness and talks light-heartedly of a “pre-Jack” before the issue was properly diagnosed, and a “post-Jack”. He categorises his personal bests, from bench presses to laps of the track, into pre- and post-Jack but is adamant he has emerged as a technically better and faster hurdler than in his previous sporting guise.

There is also an element of pride in what he has gone through; his mother texted him on the day of this interview to voice exactly that sentiment. Green says: “Some people aren’t proud of their depression and I understand it. It’s not a very nice time.

“I saw JK Rowling saying she was proud of her depression, as it shows she got through tough times, and that’s what I like about it. I like to help people, I like to talk to people and help them out. I’ve always been honest.

“The fact is that sports people are seen as heroes, superheroes if you like, the closest you can get to Superman, but we’re just normal. The more that sports people are accepting of it, the more people are accepting of it.”

Having pored over his life in a litany of psychiatric sessions, Green now understands that he had depression long before it was effectively triggered so glaringly after London 2012.

“I expected to do very, very well at the Olympics. Realistically I did do very well but, with my mindset, I wanted more,” he recalls. “I wasn’t able to control that.

“Triggers come down to events. It’s not like you look at it and say, because you didn’t do well in the Olympics, that’s the reason why. There are so many different things – upbringing, standard things – it’s just you have such a momentous occasion as a home Olympics and I was only 20 at the time and that was merely the trigger.”

However, amid the lowest of lows, he always felt he would return to the sport, although he had no idea when or how.

Once he returned, he says his options for training groups were limited in the UK, so he relocated to the IMG Academy with Seagrove, who previously worked with the 400m hurdles Olympic champion Angelo Taylor and the 400m runner LaShawn Merritt.

Green had looked to join Seagrove’s group six months earlier but broke his back, courtesy of a stress fracture which put him out of action for a lengthy period.

It was a moment he feared might trigger his illness once more; instead it was when he fully realised he had recovered: “I came out to see Loren to see if I liked the place [Bradenton]. I’d hurt my back a few weeks before but I was running PBs off little training because I was mentally so much better. Then I was like ‘I can’t feel my feet, I’m not sure if I can walk any more’. They looked at my back and I’d fractured it, so I had six months of nothing before training in November.

“But that was the best thing. That’s when I knew I was OK as I got told, ‘Look, you’ve fractured your back, you can’t do anything for six months’. I was like ‘OK, cool’. Obviously I was disappointed but I was fine with it. And that’s when I knew I was OK.

“Injuries in sport are a given. If someone said you’re never going to get injured in your career you’d laugh at them, so why waste so much energy and anger on something you knew was going to happen at some point? The timing wasn’t great but that’s just part of sport.”

Before he runs now, Green will often draw a small square on his arm, a square that helps with what he calls his “head demons”, a square which stands for everything he has achieved and those who have supported him.

The 23-year-old is an athlete who never lacked confidence and, having returned, his goal is the same: “It’s Olympic gold and I have the ability to do that. But if it happens, great, and if not, I can deal with it.” For now, simply being back is enough of an achievement.