Women's Euro 2005: Ing-her-land!

They don't earn vast amounts of money or drive flash cars, but England's female football squad will be big news this week. By David Randall

Take a seat now, or locate the nearest sturdy support, for a shock is in store. An England football team has been found whose members are articulate, well-adjusted, earn no more in a week than the rest of us, have bathroom taps made of mere base metals, and can be left unsupervised in a nightclub. We proudly present the England women's football squad.

Take a seat now, or locate the nearest sturdy support, for a shock is in store. An England football team has been found whose members are articulate, well-adjusted, earn no more in a week than the rest of us, have bathroom taps made of mere base metals, and can be left unsupervised in a nightclub. We proudly present the England women's football squad.

The occasion of the sporting spotlight swerving in this unusual direction is the European Women's Championship, staged on home soil, and starting this weekend. England, ranked 14th in the world, would ordinarily have only a nominal chance of victory, but, spurred by the knowledge they are performing for the nation live on BBC television, and bolstered by supporters lured by tickets at a mere £5 a throw, the team might even win the thing.

A victory for footballers so normal by contemporary standards would have something remarkably old-fashioned about it. Women's football in this country is, even at the highest level, semi-professional, with the best players said to pick up match fees of around £150 a game. Apart from Kelly Smith, the only Englishwoman to play in the US, our squad is a mix of students, community development officers, two mothers, students and a postie.

The manager, Hope Powell, one of the most successful players this country has ever produced, does not, as far as is known, telephone junior members of the FA's staff and invite them to heavy-breathing candlelit dinners. A television drama called "Footballer's Husbands" is unlikely ever to be made.

What certainly will come out of the championships is a further boost to a sport already doing very nicely indeed. In 1993, there were 11,200 registered female footballers. Today there are 130,000. The boom has prompted sports manufacturers to produce women-only boots, and a company called Footie Chick does a roaring trade in women's and girls' football togs.

This success is not quite unprecedented. In 1920, women's football was so popular that 53,000 watched a game. Then, in 1921, the old soaks of the FA outlawed it. Only many decades later did they relent. So tonight, when our girls take on Finland, anyone wanting to strike a blow for sporting decency should be seated round the telly, cheering them to the rafters. Not just for In-ger-land. Not just for a return to pre-millionaire footballing normality. But for a sport that was banned in England long before fox hunting ever was, and the inalienable right of all Englishwomen to dribble, fall over and get muddy.

Hope Powell, 38 coach

Distinguished player for her country and clubs, including Croydon, which she captained to league and cup double. Was in the England side that lost Euro final on penalties in 1984

Josephine Fletcher, 24 Birmingham City goalkeeper

Made her England debut in February. Reputation soared when she made a series of heart-in-mouth saves against Norway. Studying exercise science at Chester University

Jody Handley, 26 Everton forward

Scored in the 2002 Cup Final, watched on television by 2.5 million people. Could be a star. She has a master's degree in public health and works for local council

Mary Phillip, 28 Arsenal defender

Full-time mother who missed out on a few caps to have two sons but is now back. Lifted FA Women's Cup for Fulham in 2003

Katie Chapman, 22 Charlton Athletic midfielder

Dominant in the air, a star of the side who caused a stir by appearing for England in a headband bearing the name of her son, Harvey

Karen Carney, 17 Birmingham City forward

Youth and goals invite comparisons with Wayne Rooney, but lacks his hot head. Hopes to go into medicine after finishing her A-levels

Amanda Barr, 23 Birmingham City forward

Forced to choose between job as fitness instructor at leisure centre and playing top-level football. Now on scholarship at Loughborough University

Alex Scott, 20 Birmingham City defender/midfielder

Highly versatile. Student, described by FA insiders as 'bubbly'. At recent fan forum, performed with such poise she got standing ovation

Kelly Smith, 26 Arsenal forward

World class but injury prone. One of her thunderous goals featured in Bend It Like Beckham. More famous than him in US, where she played

Rachel Unitt, 23 Everton defender

Determined full-time player and coach. Born in the Midlands, made England debut at 19 and was International Player of the Year in 2004

Faye White, 27 Arsenal defender

Tall, at 5ft 10. Captain, like Beckham, but while he's got a Bentley she drives a Hyundai. Has her own website, works for her club in youth development

Rachel Yankey, 25 Birmingham City forward

First Englishwoman to turn professional, now sponsored by Nike and Umbro. International Player of the Year, runs her own soccer schools