Cricket: Wasim wipes out foot soldiers

WISDEN does not record whether the Prime Minister was in attendance when England made the highest total in Test match history on this ground (as Neville Chamberlain had slightly more on his plate in 1938 than the present incumbent, probably not), but John Major doubtless left the fifth Test at The Oval last night wondering whether he might have had a more uplifting day grappling with his Cabinet papers.

If you compiled a dossier of England batting collapses since 1989, and dropped it on your foot, it would cause more ligament damage than a direct hit from a Wasim Akram yorker. However, losing the last nine wickets for 47 run in Melbourne, and the last eight for 28 in the last Test at Headingley, scarcely compares with yesterday's performance at the spiritual home of the Flat Earth Society.

Shortly before a quarter to five yesterday afternoon, England, having made the traditional decision to bat first at The Oval, were comfortably placed at 182 for 3. Forty-five minutes and eight overs later, they were 207 all out, having lost their last seven wickets for 25 runs.

Five of those seven wickets fell to Wasim Akram, whose yorker was also working well enough to have incapacitated Alec Stewart with a blow on the instep. He was unable to keep wicket late in the day, instead going to hospital for an X-ray which showed there were no bones broken. When Graham Gooch won the toss, anyone with a sweepstake ticket on Stewart being required to keep wicket much before teatime today would have torn it up.

However, it is a remarkable fact that had cricket been invented yesterday, and all sides were like Pakistan, the award of a second new ball after 85 overs would have been regarded as a bonus for the batsmen as opposed to the bowlers.

Until mid-afternoon, a ball that was getting on for 50 overs old had by and large declined to change direction. However, it is at this point - when the sweat and polish has done its work - that Wasim and Waqar Younis cause batsmen to blink and rub their eyes in the manner of radar operators charting the progress of ocean-going vessels inside the Bermuda Triangle.

When a ball swings early, it poses few problems for Test class batsmen. When it swings late, it requires no little technique and concentration to keep it out. When it swings late at around 90 mph, it is like watching breathaliser cases taking part in a game of blind man's buff.

The collapse was not precipitated by either Wasim or Waqar, but by Aqib Javed, who scarcely looked as though his place was in doubt because of a knee injury yesterday. Aqib slanted one across David Gower, wide enough for Gower's back-foot stroke to be legitimate, but the ball bounced down off the inside edge and on to leg stump.

In the next over, Mark Ramprakash, after a sequence of 0, 0, 0, and 12 not out, was palpably lbw for 2 after being hit low on the pad by Wasim's inswinger, Chris Lewis was undone by something similar, and Derek Pringle received a ball that pitched leg and hit off.

Neil Mallender was Wasim's next victim, leg stump rattled by the inswinger, and the sort of contest that would not receive a licence inside a boxing ring, Wasim versus Devon Malcolm, ended - as did the innings - with Malcolm's stumps in some disarray.

A little earlier, Philip Tufnell's 10-to-two walk had been rearranged to something like half past 12 when Waqar boomeranged one into his instep, and it was Waqar who took the fifth in the seven- wicket carnage by having Michael Atherton caught behind.

Purely in terms of entertainment, you would not have walked across the road to watch Atherton, and Tufnell probably could not have done in any event. However, without his 76-over vigil for 60, England would have finished with the sort of total that would have given them no chance of pinching this series. As it is, you have to pinch yourself pretty hard not to believe that the best they can now do is draw.

England lost Gooch in the 12th over, shovelling a lifting delivery from Aqib (that he could have allowed to pass by) to short leg, and Stewart became so intoxicated by getting stuck into Wasim that, having already hit two fours in the over, he top edged a hook to long leg.

Robin Smith, who for some reason attracts more short stuff than most batsmen, dealt with it far better than Mushtaq Ahmed's wrist spin, and he was finally lured down the pitch and beaten by a perfect googly. What is now even more worrying, is that had England been bowling to themselves on this pitch yesterday, they might now be eyeing that 1938 total of 903.

(Photograph omitted)