Cricket: Groggy England take seat in the last-chance saloon: Third man adds a twist to the second Test as Gooch's moochers aim to end more than half a century of Australian dominance at Lord's

IT WAS scarcely inappropriate that a rare pep talk from Ted Dexter on Tuesday had less to do with tactics than a text taken straight from Agincourt, in that you almost have to go back closer to the longbow than the Long Room to unearth England's last Test match victory against Australia at Lord's.

It was in fact, in the reign of George V rather than Henry V, but still long enough ago for No 10 (Downing Street as opposed to the batting order) to be occupied by Ramsay MacDonald, and the first year of the driving test having more to do with road safety than the pressing need for England's batsmen to wear L-plates.

However, the date Dexter had in mind was not so much 1934, which still represents England's one and only Lord's victory over Australia in 20th century Tests, as less than a fortnight ago. It was not merely defeat at Old Trafford that bodes ill for the rest of the summer as the suspicion that when it boils down to hand-to-hand combat, one side fixes bayonets and the other reaches for a toothpick.

Under normal circumstances, Dexter cuts no higher a profile on the eve of a Test than practising his golf swing on the outfield, but this time the England chairman decided it was time for some tub-thumping oratory. In the last Ashes series here this was largely confined to 'errors? what errors?' and 'who can forget Malcolm Devon?', so maybe this rhetoric was modelled on David George Lloyd.

Re-selection of virtually the same team represents a curious way of

going about voicing displeasure, although both Dexter and Graham Gooch have, without naming names, delivered last-chance lectures to the players on the subject of attitude. A 'constructive bollocking' was how one TCCB official put it.

We should not expect to hear strains of 'Land of Hope and Glory' coming from the England balcony this morning, nor the sound of, in the manner of prop forwards psyching themselves up, heads being butted against the dressing room wall. But if Ted's message was something along the lines of 'if we do lose, let's make sure the buggers at least have to take one hand off a dry martini' then so much the better.

Gooch was even stronger than Dexter yesterday, when he not only made his feelings known about the Old Trafford game, but also stated that he will not take up the selectors' offer of all six Tests as captain if he cannot motivate the side a good deal better than he currently appears able. 'Performances can vary,' he said, 'but you can't tolerate a bad attitude, and if things don't improve, it will be only right and proper for someone else to take the job.'

In point of fact, it was curious for Gooch to have been re-appointed as captain for the remainder of the summer in the immediate aftermath of Old Trafford, where he merely reconfirmed two things. One, he is still England's best batsman, and two, he once again failed to inspire his troops.

Yesterday's cri de coeur was reminiscent of his theme both at Perth in 1991, after the 3-0 Ashes defeat, and at Bombay last winter, following the Indian whitewash. To raise doubts publicly three times in two years about his motivational abilities is disturbing, and his mental deflation was obvious at Old Trafford. There were times when Gooch looked intolerably weary when he ought to have been throwing purple-faced wobblers.

Gooch might have been more animated had it not been for the fact that he himself had been placed on trial by the decision to give him, initially, three Test matches. This early concession of pyschological bonus points, with the attendant inference that it was a good idea to contest the series with half an eye on the following winter's tour, ranks alongside, in the crackpot notion stakes, banning mobile phones from the dressing room.

The list of forbidden items now appears to embrace left-handed batsmen. Australia regard the left-right mix as verging on the essential, whether the opposition has a leg-spinner or not, and there are precious few grounds for believing that Shane Warne will be any less of a threat here than he was at Old Trafford.

Australia may even play both their specialist spinners here, bringing in Tim May for Brendon Julian, while England are toying with omitting Philip Tufnell, employing Graeme Hick as a second off-spinner and using Mark Ilott as a fourth seamer. Lord's has been helping the spinners but after a week of almost non-stop rain, the Test pitch will be, to begin with anyway, low and slow.

Ian Healy faces a morning fitness test on a chipped right thumb, but is reasonably confident of playing in a Test match that, for the first time in England, will feature a third umpire - Chris Balderstone - monitoring the TV replays. Balderstone will adjudicate on close decisions involving stumpings, hit wickets or run outs, but not, despite what happened at Old Trafford, if anyone is suspected of handling the ball.

ENGLAND (from): G A Gooch (capt), M A Atherton, R A Smith, M W Gatting, G A Hick, A J Stewart (wkt), C C Lewis, N A Foster, M C Ilott, A R Caddick, P M Such, P C R Tufnell.

Martin Johnson on Merv Hughes, page 36