Postcard from... Gran Canaria

“Europe’s largest cactus park,” the sign for Cactualdea boldly announces, despite the fact that mainland Europe is 900 miles away from this particular theme park, set in the bleakly beautiful volcanic moonscapes of Gran Canaria.

The sign is not all that is surreal about Cactualdea – literally, the “hamlet of cactuses”, although “town” would perhaps be more accurate, with more than 1,200 varieties to admire in a labyrinthine combination of terraced gardens and narrow, high-walled walkways. The cacti range from the stubby cucumber-shaped Melocactus cactaceae to the lily-like Agave potatorium or the ponderously named Oreocereus hendriksenianus – layers of white down and spikes covering what looks suspiciously like a miniature London Gherkin, dowsed in green paint.

Should you get cactused-out, you can always relax in the “room for merry events,” – as the Cactualdea brochure’s English section calls its bar – or visit the man-made cave, featuring the life of the island’s original inhabitants, the Guanches.

But the park’s pièce de résistance is surely its artificial volcano. A mound of small brown rocks that “erupts” at an ear-splitting volume whenever someone approaches. You have been warned.