Hillary Clinton roasts Donald Trump: The best jokes from presidential candidate's Alfred E Smith speech
'We'll either have the first female president or the first one who started a Twitter war with Cher,' says Hillary Clinton
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.Hillary Clinton has found herself the butt of a fair few jokes during her political career.
There was the time she attempted to use Snapchat, and a video of her saying "I'm just chilling" went viral online.
Then there was the time she tried to connect to young voters by saying she was making them "Pokemon Go to the polls".
But at Thursday's Albert E Smith charity dinner, she was the one dishing out the jokes. Here are some of her best:
1."This is such a special event that I took a break from my rigorous nap schedule to be here."
2. "As you've already heard, it's a treat for all of you, too. Because usually I charge a lot for speeches like this."
3. "People look at the Statue of Liberty and they see a proud symbol of our history as a nation of immigrants, a beacon of hope for people around the world. Donald looks at the Statue of Liberty and sees a four. Maybe a five, if she loses the torch and tablet and changes her hair.”
4. "Donald, if at any time you don't like what I'm saying, feel free to stand up and shout, 'Wrong!' while I'm talking."
5. "Now I've got to say, there are a lot of friendly faces here in this room, people I've been privileged to know and work with? I just want to put you all in a basket of adorables."
6. "You know, come to think of it, it's amazing I'm up here after Donald. I didn't think he'd be okay with a peaceful transition of power."
7. "And Donald, after listening to your speech, I will also enjoy listening to Mike Pence deny that you ever gave it."
8. "Now, you notice, there is no teleprompter here tonight, which is probably smart, because maybe you saw Donald dismantle his prompter the other day. And I get that. They're hard to keep up with, and I'm sure it's even harder when you're translating from the original Russian."
9. "Sharing a stage with Donald Trump is like, well, nothing really comes to mind. There is nothing like sharing a stage with Donald Trump."
10. "Now, look, I have deep respect for people like Kellyanne Conway. She's working day and night for Donald, and because she's a contractor, he's probably not even going to pay her. "
11. "But I think the good news is that the debates finally allowed Republicans to unite around their candidate. The bad news is, it's Mike Pence."
12. "And whoever wins this election, the outcome will be historic. We'll either have the first female president or the first president who started a Twitter war with Cher.”
13. "And if Donald does win, it will be awkward at the annual presidents' day photo when all the former presidents gather at the White House, and not just with Bill. How is Barack going to get past the Muslim ban?"
14. "Speaking of health, Donald has been very concerned about mine. Very concerned. He actually sent a car to bring me here tonight. Actually, it was a hearse."
15. "Donald really is as healthy as a horse. You know, the one Vladimir Putin rides around on."
16. "I said no to some jokes that I thought were over the line, but I suppose you can judge for yourself on WikiLeaks in the next few days.”
17. "People say, and I hear them, they say I’m boring compared to Donald, but I’m not boring at all. In fact, I am the life of every party I attended, and I have been to three."
Meanwhile some of Donald Trump's jokes did not go down too well, with by far his most successful gag at the expense of his wife.
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments