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Cows don't have fingers: Key Trump ally Devin Nunes faces fresh challenge in effort to sue parody Twitter account

'No reasonable person would believe that Devin Nunes’ cow actually has a Twitter account, or that the hyperbole, satire and cow-related jokes it posts are serious facts'

Clark Mindock
New York
Wednesday 27 November 2019 23:18 GMT
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Mr Nunes is a powerful member of the United States Congress who has sued a parody Twitter account pretending to be his cow
Mr Nunes is a powerful member of the United States Congress who has sued a parody Twitter account pretending to be his cow (AP)

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Cows do not have fingers, according to a recent filing in the ongoing drama between Republican congressman Devin Nunes and his Twitter nemesis “@DevinNunesCow”, so there is no way that insults from an online bovine can be considered serious attacks on the California politician’s reputation.

The claim comes in response to Mr Nunes’ attempt to force a Democratic strategist to disclose the identity of the person behind the Twitter account, which he has sued alongside another parody account claiming to be his mother, as well as the social media platform itself.

Following the filing of a subpoena, Democratic National Committee staffer Adam Parkhomenko’s attorney filed the response, arguing that the language of the Twitter accounts “does not constitute defamation”, and that the account owners should be protected under American free speech laws.

“No reasonable person would believe that Devin Nunes’ cow actually has a Twitter account, or that the hyperbole, satire and cow-related jokes it posts are serious facts,” the filing reads, according to the Fresno Bee.

It continues: “It is self-evident that cows are domesticated livestock animals and do not have the intelligence, language, or opposable digits needed to operate a Twitter account. Defendant ‘Devin Nunes’ Mom’ likewise posts satirical patronizing, nagging, mothering comments which ostensibly treat Mr Nunes as a misbehaving child.”

The filling marks the latest episode in a bizarre spectacle that was sparked when Mr Nunes, a high ranking and powerful member of the United States Congress, filed a lawsuit against an anonymous Twitter account that frequently pokes jokes at the man, whose family owns a farm.

Jokes posted by the Devin Nunes' Cow account include the recent message, "Glad you’ve got provisions since I eat your lunch every day", which was posted in response to Mr Nunes tweeting about his Thanksgiving preparations.

Another post reads, "Excited? Wait until he sues you," in response to a conservative PAC tweeting about the congressman joining them as a guest. Yet another reads, "If I was in your shoes, I’d drink a lot, too," in response, again, to Mr Nunes' Thanksgiving preparations.

Most tweets from the parody cow also include a cow emoji at the end, as a colourful bit of punctuation.

The recent subpoena was the first to stem from a series of lawsuits Mr Nunes has filed this year, attacking those Twitter accounts as well as media organisations, Democratic activists, and the political research firm Fusion GPS.

The Independent reached out to Devin Nunes’ Cow, but did not immediately receive a response.

Mr Nunes has become a prominent figure in the ongoing impeachment trial of Donald Trump, and is a vocal critic of the president.

He is the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee.

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