Sex does, indeed, improve with age

Middle-of-the-road - that's how our market researcher described our group of thirties when it came to sex. They have sex once or twice a week on average, and the vast majority never have one-night stands. Those are things of the past. Like most of the other groups before them, except for the very faithful under-twenties, around a third had been faithful to their partners. (But of course two-thirds haven't been.

Middle-of-the-road - that's how our market researcher described our group of thirties when it came to sex. They have sex once or twice a week on average, and the vast majority never have one-night stands. Those are things of the past. Like most of the other groups before them, except for the very faithful under-twenties, around a third had been faithful to their partners. (But of course two-thirds haven't been.

"Everyone knows that married men have affairs, but what about the women?" wrote one woman. "In 13 years of marriage and two kids, despite the fact I love my husband very much, I occasionally need to spice things up for my own self-esteem. Without my four short passionate affairs, I don't think my marriage would have survived.")

But this group are also getting more realistic. They are the most cynical of all the groups. 78 per cent of the thirty-somethings believe that sex can be enjoyed apart from love, affection or romance. For the group under twenty, good looks were crucial in a partner; for the twenties it was a shared sense of humour; but by the thirties, most people rate a shared sense of values as most important - it's only to be expected. "Sex changes when you have children," wrote one woman, "but the intimacy and affection it represents remains."

Of course these thirty-somethings have had different sexual pasts to their younger brothers and sisters, and a large percentage of them - nearly a third - lost their virginity far later - after they were 21. Compare this to 93 per cent of under-twenties who've lost their virginity before 20. And, as befits their increasing age, half of them rate sensuality as the most important quality in a sexual relationship. And if they have a sexual problem, they're more likely to discuss it with their partner than anyone in other groups. They're finally starting to trust their mates.

It's at this age, perhaps, when sexual desire is just starting to flag a tiny bit, that people seem to like to indulge most in bondage, pornography, photography, sado-masochism and fantasy role-play. Sex just doesn't come quite as easy as it used to - or perhaps it's become a tiny bit boring. One man wrote: "My wife and I indulge in safe group sex on a regular basis (about four times a year) but we don't make it the centre of our social life or turn it into a life-style thing. We got involved through a desire to try out a fantasy after much mutual and non-pressured discussion, with the proviso that if we didn't like it we wouldn't do it again. We do like it and would recommend it as a lot of fun and a great stress-buster."

It's also a time when most people suffer from sexual problems, like impotence, premature ejaculation and lack of libido.

But, happily, this group is delighted with their sex-lives on the whole. They think that they're having their best sex ever now, in their thirties.

Interestingly, that's just how the people in their twenties were feeling, that sex just couldn't be better - showing that sex does seem to improve with age.