Election Diary

Good day

Good day

Little Donald Kennedy, who is just a week old, and already more likely to be Prime Minister than his dad Charles, according to Ladbrokes. Donald remains at 100/1, but the odds on Charles Kennedy reaching No 10 lengthened to 150/1.

Bad Day

John Prescott, who was accused of swearing at a reporter. Mr Prescott, who mouthed "fucking pillock" at Labour's manifesto launch, lost it after he was asked repeatedly about the case of rebel Labour independent Peter Law, Mr Prescott told the man from the South Wales Argus: "Bugger off. Get on your bus, you amateur."

Clash of the day

Gordon Brown, whose ill-chosen bright pink tie sent the television screens buzzing against Labour's bright purple backdrop during his campaign speech in Hatfield.

Bad hair day

Handbags at dawn for Sandra Howard, who poked fun at Cherie Blair's hairdo in her internet diary. "I've heard on the grapevine that a certain other leader's wife has booked arguably the best and certainly the priciest hairdresser in town for the entire campaigning month; I reckon that gives me some good leverage in getting across that my hair deserves a look-in, too".

Scaring the babies

Michael Howard should look out. The four-year-old son of one Tory MP can't see Mr H on the television without going into a mock horror routine with a sinister whisper of: "I won't hurt you, children".

Lie detector

"It's not the job that's important," Gordon Brown, when asked whether he wouldn't really rather be Prime Minister.

Slogan of the day

The Monster Raving Loony Party candidate for Erewash, Mr R U Seerius, is campaigning on the catchphrase: "Work harder!! Millions on welfare depend on you."

Quote of the day

"It is heartbreaking when you work so long to get a Labour government in power and then they turn into a Conservative one." Jessica Haigh, 20, from Leeds, who confronted Tony Blair yesterday.

Q&A

Q1: How many loonies are standing in the general election?

Q2: Which candidate is standing in no fewer than eight seats?

Q3: How many footsteps has John Prescott taken during the campaign?

Answers

1: You might think there are hundreds, but only 20 are standing for the Monster Raving Loony Party. The party insists they are "loonies not nutters".

2: John Whittaker UKIP: MEP for the North-west. Of course he can only sit for one seat if he wins.

3: More than 100,000 steps on the personal Prezza pedometer by Monday according to Labour's campaign diary.