Andy McSmith's Diary: Frozen Cameron reveals all to Heat

David Cameron has watched Frozen so often with his four year old daughter that he “can virtually recite it”

David Cameron has not agreed to a one-to-one television debate with Ed Miliband, but he has allowed himself to be subjected to a searching interview by Heat magazine, which goes on sale on Tuesday. From this we learn that David Cameron has watched Frozen so often with his four year old daughter that he “can virtually recite it”; that one of the things he misses through being prime minister is driving along with music playing in the car; that he cooks his own pizzas – “everything with chili in, chili jam, chili sauce, chili everything, hot, hot, the hotter the better!” and that he bottled out on the day when a rat came through the cat flap into the Cameron kitchen. “I’d like to say I stripped down to the waist and wrestled it and threw it out, but I didn’t,” he confessed. But he claims to be good at disposing of spiders.

So, there you have it: all the information you need before deciding whether to vote for David Cameron.

Wild Optimist of the Day

“If Labour wins, Britain will enjoy twenty years of unbridled happiness and prosperity that historians will come to call the Golden Age of Miliband” – Damian McBride, former Labour spin doctor and attack dog, now a guest blogger for Paddy Power.

The line up for Thursday night’s absurd seven person television debate will be Natalie Bennett, Nick Clegg, Nigel Farage, Ed Miliband, Leanne Wood, Nicola Sturgeon and David Cameron. David Cameron will be relieved that he is well away from Nigel Farage, but it will not help him to be on the end of the line, with Ed Miliband strategically placed in the very centre. A Tory spin doctor tried to make the best of this by telling the Guido Fawkes website: “Clowns to the left of him.”

But let’s put that quote in its proper context. It is taken form a song that was a huge hit for Gerry Rafferty and Stealer Wheel, 42 years ago. The memorable line is “Clowns to the left of me! Jokers to the right! Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.” Obviously, it’s the song for Ed Miliband to sing to Nigel Farage.

Begged Question of the Day

“So MPs watch porn. Who gives a toss?” – commentator Owen Jones is unimpressed by the latest ‘revelation’ about the Labour MP Simon Danzcuk.

S- Word of the Day

“She can seem to act more like a Socialist than a Conservative” – Tory candidate Chloe Smith, fighting to hold on to her marginal seat of Norwich North, borrowed this phrase about herself from an admiring constituent. Spotted by Political Scrapbook.

There are some weirdly delusional characters in politics. The former MP for Portsmouth South, Mike Hancock, who lost the party whip and left the Liberal Democrats over a long running scandal about his “inappropriate conduct” towards a vulnerable female constituent, and who also had a very highly publicised four-year affair with his young Russian researcher, has decided to contest his former seat as an independent. Asked by the BBC whether he could win, he said: “I think I could.” I think not.