Andy McSmith's Diary: Psychic 'Labour members' have all the answers on Syria

A message on Syria 'from' unnamed party members was circulated 12 hours before Jeremy Corbyn spoke

Jeremy Corbyn is facing an open revolt from a majority of his Shadow Cabinet after warning his MPs that he could not support British military action in Syria (AP)

Suggested answers to the seven questions Jeremy Corbyn put to David Cameron about the consequences of sending British planes to bomb Syrian targets could be found in an email headed “Labour Against Bombing Syria” circulated to Labour MPs

It answered the questions in the order they were asked, sometimes in the same language. For example, Corbyn’s third question was: “Isn’t the logic of an intensified air campaign mission creep and Western boots on the ground?”

The email warned that air strikes would create: “The danger of mission creep and therefore pressure for Western boots on the ground.”

Corbyn’s fourth question was: “Does the Prime Minister believe that UN security council resolution 2249 gives clear and unambiguous authorisation for UK air strikes?” The email asserted: “The UN security council resolution does not give clear and unambiguous authorisation.”

What is odd about this is that this message, purportedly from unnamed “Labour members”, was circulated on Wednesday evening, 12 hours before Corbyn spoke. Either the anonymous “Labour members” are psychic, or the invisible hand of Corbyn’s office had something to do with that email.

When it’s OK to quote Mao

John McDonnell is not the only MP to have attempted a Mao Zedong joke in the Commons this year. He was preceded by the Tory MP Simon Burns, speaking on the day Parliament reconvened after the election. He related an anecdote about a young British diplomat who found himself next to Mao at a reception and, unable to think of anything better to say, asked: “What do you think would have happened if Khrushchev rather than President Kennedy had been killed in Dallas?” After a long pause because – Burns told MPs “wise men always think before they speak” – Mao replied: “I don’t think that Mr Onassis would have married Mrs Khrushchev.”

Nobody complained about this story. No one suggested Burns was dishonouring the people Mao murdered by telling a tale in which the former dictator was portrayed as witty and wise. But Burns is a Tory, not a left-wing Labour MP.

Nominative undeterminism

A Labour MP has called for a ban on the killing of African lions by trophy hunters. His name is Andy Slaughter.

Guilty without trial

How much compensation should a man receive for being kidnapped and held without trial for 14 years?

Not a penny, in the opinion of Tory MP David TC Davies – if the potential recipient is the last British resident imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay, Shaker Aamer. Mr Davies – not to be confused with the better known David Davis – was so incensed by a report that Aamer’s pay-off might be as high as £1m that he initiated a debate in Westminster Hall to protest. He insinuated that Aamer lied when he said he went to Afghanistan to work for a charity before the US invasion, and denounced him as someone who “obviously felt that the extreme brand of Islam favoured by the Taliban was preferable to anything on offer in the UK”. Three other Tories spoke. Two – predictably – backed Davies. The other was Tania Mathias, a GP who took Vince Cable’s Twickenham seat at the election, and who is an unusual Tory, with strong views on human rights. She interrupted five times to protest that her colleagues were putting Aamer on trial when he had already been imprisoned without trial and was not there to defend himself.

Welcome home Congratulations to Nicholas Fairfax, the newly elected Conservative peer. Yes, elected. Since 1999, there have been 92 seats in the Lords reserved for holders of hereditary titles that previously conferred on those who held them an automatic right to a seat. The Conservative hereditary peer Lord Montagu of Beaulieu died in the summer, creating a vacancy that had to be filled by a by-election in which the only voters were Tory hereditary peers. Lord Fairfax was the winner in a crowded field. He is the 14th Lord Fairfax of Cameron. The third was Thomas Fairfax, who led the New Model Army 360 years ago.