Trump UK visit: Things to watch out for, from barely coherent rants to breaches of royal protocol

It’s your cut-out-and-keep guide to the unscheduled incidents which may just make the headlines...

Whether you love him or loathe him, an overseas visit from Donald Trump is never anything less than eventful.

Whether he’s alienating allies, boasting of a “very special bond” with tyrants or just looking really sinister in front of a glowing orb, the US president’s trips abroad inevitably make headlines.

Handshake standoffs, throwing sweets at other world leaders and appearing to misplace our very own Queen have all been among his past repertoire.

He is, a US state official once noted, like a “drunk tourist abroad … loud and tacky”.

Which should, at the very least, make next week’s state visit to the UK an interesting affair.

The leader of the free world will spend three days from Monday banqueting with the royal family, holding talks with Theresa May and (almost certainly) throwing about the word “tremendous” when looking to bluff through any question he doesn’t, to put it politely, have the detail on.

But what else might we expect from this spectacle? Here’s The Independent’s cut-out-and-keep guide to the non-scheduled incidents which may grab the headlines.

Content warning: Nigel Farage.

1. A breach of royal protocol

“It was supposed to last for 15 minutes,” said Mr Trump of taking tea with the Queen during last July’s visit to the UK. “But it lasted for, like, an hour. Because we got along.”

Whether this extended brew-drinking session really happened has never been confirmed by Buck House. But, if it did, one can only hope the monarch used the time to offer a few tips on royal courtesy.

In that 2018 trip, the Donald managed to breach it not once – by not bowing upon meeting – but twice by then walking in front of the Queen as she inspected a guard of honour.

Poor form.

Although, to be fair, Mr Trump’s not the first president to be caught out by the formalities.

In 2011, Barack Obama tried to toast her majesty while the national anthem was playing – only to be met with a steely unimpressed gaze from the woman herself.

2. Brexit ‘advice’

At this point, one might reasonably argue, the UK needs all the help on Brexit it can get.

But then, accepting advice from a man who has managed to bankrupt four businesses is, one might also reasonably argue, a risky proposition.

Nonetheless, it seems unlikely Mr Trump will be able to resist wading into the issue and offering the benefit of his acumen.

Last time round, at an awkward press conference with Theresa May, he told assembled reporters: “I gave her a suggestion and I think maybe she found it too brutal. I gave her a suggestion, not advice. I can fully understand why she thought it might be tough.”

That’s probably code – although not really – that he sees no particular qualms with a no-deal divorce.

3. A barely coherent rant

Donald Trump's oratory style could perhaps, generously, be described as unpredictable.

Which is to say, of course, when he starts speaking on a particular subject, no-one knows exactly where he's going to end up. Including, one suspects, himself.

Whether it's ranting about uranium at a press conference ("It's a thing called nuclear weapons and other things, like lots of things are done with uranium including some bad things") or going off on tangents about the Venezuela crisis ("That was the wealthiest country of all in that part of the world which is a very important part of the world...So I think the process is playing out – very very big tremendous protests"), his opinions, critics suggest, often appear to be forming in real time, as he speaks.

Expect Theresa May to experience a few excruciating moments when the pair share a joint press conference on Tuesday.

4. The return of The Blimp

It’s big, it’s orange, and it’s currently stored in a “suitcase in Kentish town”.

But the group behind the infamous Trump baby blimp says it hopes to fly it over London again this year.

The 20ft inflatable – a lookalike of the man himself, albeit a lookalike wearing a nappy – was sent into the capital’s airspace to protest against the president’s last visit.

Now Kevin Smith, coordinator with the Stop Trump coalition group, says the balloon will be raised again if authorities grant permission and if the public raises £30,000 for charities which “push back against the politics of hate and division”.

Assuming both those things happen, it will fly in Parliament Square on Tuesday when there are planned…

5. Mass Protests

Obviously.

An estimated 100,000 people joined what was called a “carnival of resistance” in London during Mr Trump’s last visit, while thousands more demonstrated in other cities across the UK.

Now similar numbers are expected to take to the streets on Tuesday.

“We will make it clear to the British government that it’s not OK to normalise Trump’s agenda and fear it has sparked,” the Stop Trump campaign group said.

One to look out for during the demonstrations: a 16ft talking robot of the Donald sitting on a gold toilet is being shipped to the UK especially for the protests.

“I can’t stand the guy,” said Don Lessem, the Philadelphia native who paid $25,000 (£20,000) to have the robot made. “I decided something funny, as offensive as possible, would work.”

6. A cheeky round of golf

The schedule looks, as is the way of these things, unremittingly packed.

Monday is banqueting with the Queen; Tuesday talks with Theresa May; and Wednesday will see Mr Trump travel to Portsmouth for a D-Day anniversary ceremony.

But if there’s one thing the president appears to have a talent for, it’s digging out time for a quick 18 holes.

And why not? Even the leader of the free world’s handicap won’t improve itself.

7. A meeting with Nigel Farage

Possibly on the golf course?

The two are, famously, good friends, with Mr Farage speaking at an election rally for Mr Trump in 2016, and then becoming one of the first people to see him following his successful campaign.

You remember? There was that picture of the two of them, plus fawning entourage, at Trump Tower? Someone called them The Brex Pistols.

The president, for his part, has called the former Ukip leader a “good guy” and praised his “big victory” in the recent European parliament elections.

When asked if the pair would meet during this state visit, Mr Trump said they “may” do.

8. An endorsement in the Tory leadership race

He's not even arrived yet - and, actually, he's already sort of done this.

In an interview with The Sun, Mr Trump called fellow comb-over aficionado Boris Johnson an "excellent" potential leader who would do a "very good" job.

“Maybe it’s not my business to support people,” he'd said previously (it's definitely not), “but I have a lot of respect for [Boris].”

Such open interference in the domestic affairs of another country is, for world leaders, unambiguously frowned upon.

But perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised at the comments. Among Mr Trump’s most naked past interventions have been telling Germany it relies too heavily on Russian energy, suggesting France needs to get a better grip on terrorism, and retweeting an anti-immigration post by a British far-right activist.

Expect him to double-down on his Boris bromance once he's here.