‘My intuition failed me completely’: Mothers’ heartbreak over daughters who were killed by abusive partners
Sam Shrewsbury and Claire McGrath tell Maya Oppenheim of the hell they have lived through since their children’s deaths
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Your support makes all the difference.From the moment they wake up to the moment they fall asleep, Claire McGrath and Sam Shrewsbury can only think about the daughters they have lost – both of whom were murdered by abusive partners.
Their hearts broken, the two mothers struggle to comprehend the horror of what their children endured.
Ms McGrath’s daughter Keely Wilson was beaten to death by Anthony Davis in their Derbyshire home in December 2018. She was left with 14 broken ribs, two collapsed lungs and a fractured skull – with a total of 48 external injuries found on the 30-year-old’s body.
Ms Shrewsbury’s pregnant 17-year-old daughter Jayden Parkinson was strangled to death by Ben Blakeley in December 2013. Blakely buried the teenager in his uncle's grave in Oxfordshire, and her body was only discovered a fortnight later.
Both grieving women are backing The Independent’s Brick by Brick campaign, launched in partnership with the leading domestic abuse charity Refuge, to raise funds to build a house for women escaping abusive partners. The initial £300,000 target has recently been smashed, with more than £350,000 in donations pouring in so far and plans already underway for the building of a second home.
Be a brick, buy a brick and donate here or text BRICK to 70560 to donate £15
‘Life will never be the same’
Ms McGrath never took to her daughter’s boyfriend, finding him cocky and sarcastic, but she never considered for a second that he would go on to murder Keely.
She only met him four or five times in the five years they were together as her daughter would come alone with her children to stay every month or so, the 56-year-old recalls.
“I could kick myself because I considered myself always to have had good intuition and it failed me completely,” she recalls. “We were as much victims of him as she was.”
Ms McGrath says she didn’t see the signs of abuse but does remember Keely saying Davis wanted his dinner cooked every night.
It was during Davis’s murder trial at Nottingham Crown Court that it emerged Keely had been a victim of coercive control and domestic abuse for several years but had suffered in silence.
“I know there was an incident during pregnancy,” she recalls. “I think he kicked her in the stomach. She was about eight months pregnant. The police came and took her to hospital and she said she had fallen, but he was there at the time so she was never going to say anything.”
After her death, a police officer said he thought Davis had raped her on the night of her murder, Ms McGrath says. She recounts how a video was played to the court from her 30th birthday – around six months before she died – in which Davis was filmed telling her she was a bad mother and she cried with her hands over her face.
Davis, a haulage company owner, was found guilty of murder and jailed for life with a minimum of 24 years.
Ms McGrath, who lives in Berkshire with her husband and three of Keely’s children, says losing a daughter to a murder perpetrated by their partner is the worst thing that can happen to a mother.
“Life will never be the same," she reflects. “My heart broke and it will never be fixed. You just live with it.”
Ms McGrath applauded The Independent’s Brick by Brick campaign as an important initiative given the limited refuge spaces available, but also for shining a light on the forgotten problem of domestic abuse.
“If they go back to their parents’ home, it is still dangerous because their abuser can track them down,” she adds. “That is why it is important we have safe spaces like refuges.”
‘We shouldn’t have to bury our daughters’
Ms Shrewsbury, who lives in Oxfordshire, describes her daughter’s murderer Blakeley as an abhorrent and evil individual who groomed Jayden from a young age.
“He met her when she was 14 and played the ‘I'll wait for you till you're 16’ card,” she says. “Two years of the drip-drip effect.”
When they did get together, it didn’t take long for the abuse to start: “He was beating her, putting cigarettes out on her, strangling her constantly.
“She was so scared to leave him because he told her that if she did he would kill me or her nephews and nieces. He made her take him to where her nephews and nieces lived so that he could use that over her. None of us found out any of this until court.”
Blakeley was found guilty of Jayden's murder after a trial in July 2014 and sentenced to life.
Ms Shrewsbury was catapulted into a deep depression after her daughter’s death and struggled to leave the house for six years unless it was to visit Jayden’s grave.
“If I was left in the house on my own and I'd run out of milk, I physically couldn't get past the front door,” she adds. “I was in my own prison for a long, long time.”
The 57-year-old describes her daughter as funny, quirky and loud-mouthed but “deep down in her heart, the sweetest kid you will ever meet”.
She says identifying her body was the hardest thing she has ever done, adding that she could see the footprint on her face from where Blakeley had stamped on her.
“Nothing can prepare you for that,” she adds. “She looked asleep. God. She looked so tiny and so cold. And just battered and bruised.”
Ms Shrewsbury tells of the irreparable anguish she feels at missing out on meeting her grandchild, as Jayden was pregnant when she was murdered.
“If there is such thing as a broken heart, mothers like myself, we carry it every day, no matter what,” she adds.
“We might smile but deep down, we are broken. We are broken women who have lost children. We shouldn't outlive our kids. We shouldn't have to bury our daughters, our sisters, our aunts.”
Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and the charity Refuge, to help raise £300,000 to build a safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives and make a new future.
Anyone who requires help or support can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247 or via its website
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