‘I am scared to go into the garden’: Stalking victims reveal horror of lockdown as reports rise

‘Since lockdown, I ensure all curtains are closed early and I don’t check if he is there because I am so scared,’ stalking victim tells The Independent

Reports to the UK’s leading anti-stalking charity have soared during the Covid-19 emergency – with contact from stalking victims doubling during the lockdown (Getty/iStock)

“I was already living in lockdown as a stalking victim,” Amrita* tells The Independent. “My life was so restricted already. But now I feel like I am living in prison. I can’t invite friends over or do the little things I used to do to get by.”

Reports to the UK’s leading anti-stalking charity have soared during the Covid-19 emergency – with contact from stalking victims doubling during the lockdown.

Paladin, which carries out risk assessments on stalking victims before advocating on their behalf to the police, had an average of 120 stalking victims getting in touch each week ahead of the coronavirus outbreak but this has risen to 254 per week in the wake of the lockdown.

Amrita, whose identity cannot be revealed to protect her safety, is one of those stalking victims whose situation has been exacerbated by social distancing rules.

“It has made me more scared because he knows exactly where I am going to be all the time,” the 41-year-old adds. “It is easier for him to keep watch on the house and know when I leave the house. It is also easier for him to harm me. Also when you do go out there are less people there for you to blend into.”

Amrita, who lives with her three children, says her husband subjected her to domestic abuse during their 16-year relationship and now continues to relentlessly stalk her.

“He subjected me to coercive control, psychological abuse, financial abuse – I had nothing in my name – and physical abuse,” she adds. “He had cameras in the house and trackers in the car. He would hide audio devices in the house so he could hear what was happening. Towards the end, he made threats to kill me. I was scared he would slit my throat in the night with a knife.”

Amrita says she currently has a non-molestation order – a court order which restricts where abusers can go or who they can approach – against her husband but he has been arrested twice for breaching it. Her husband, who is blocked from seeing his children by the authorities, is currently being investigated by the police.

“I have been going through the divorce courts for 18 months,” she adds. “He doesn’t pay a penny to the children for maintenance. When I tried to leave him he hired a private detective to find out where I was and I was followed all the time.”

Amrita, who has been supported by anti-stalking charity Paladin, says she is anxious to leave the house during the lockdown and does all of her shopping late at night.

She adds: “The stalking is still ongoing. I’ve had him park up outside my house in the middle of the night and park near my workplace before lockdown. Since lockdown, I ensure all curtains are closed early and I don’t check if he is there because I am so scared. I’ve blocked him but I’ve had other people call me and other people come to my house. I had an old man throw stones in the night.

“They have got a security guard outside the supermarket so I ask him to walk me to my car. I have got CCTV at home and my neighbours know the circumstances. The lockdown has made me hugely anxious. I was already scared but now I am anxious to the point where I am scared to go into the garden. I won’t even go outside to put the washing out. My kids do it. I feel paranoid when I go to my local park.”

Amrita says her husband has a lot of money so is able to pay people to keep tabs on her – adding that she has been anxious about money since quitting her job after lockdown started due to stress.

Stalking is one of the most frequently experienced forms of abuse, with official figures showing one in five women and one in 10 men will be stalked in their lifetime.

Paladin, the national stalking advocacy service which successfully campaigned for stalking to become a criminal offence back in 2012, has said stalking victims are increasingly fearful due to the Covid-19 crisis. The organisation has said its funding is at risk and this is affecting its ability to cope with the growing demand for its services.

Lisa, another stalking victim, says the lockdown has made her considerably more anxious about her stalker.

“He is somebody I had been in a relationship with on and off for four years or so,” she adds. “He was 14 years older than me. It was on and off because he was seeing other people and was lying the whole way through.”

The 32-year-old says she is in a cycle of breaking up every few months but he would eventually force her into getting back with him by constantly ringing her from his personal phone, work phone and house phone as well as sending letters, cards and flowers.

“I didn’t want to speak to him so I would block his number but he would try me on other numbers,” she adds. “I would receive two or three letters a day. All six pages long. He would contact friends or family to get messages from them to me. He would make fake profiles on Facebook so I deleted my account. On Instagram, I must have blocked 40 to 50 fake Instagram profiles. I would open an Instagram account and get 10 or 15 messages from him. He would coerce me back into the relationship because I could not deal with it. It was easier to say come back in.”

Lisa says she blocked him on Instagram, LinkedIn and other platforms last summer and the situation started to spiral out of control.

“He would drive past and get out and ring the doorbell,” she adds. “He would stay out there and continuously ring it. He would sit in the car for a few hours. He knows what time I go to work so he would wait for me to drive past him and follow me in the car for part of my drive to work. He would turn up at bars he knew I went to and then I would leave.”

The police have told her that her ex-partner has previous convictions for harassment and stalking and also for physical domestic violence, Lisa added.

“He has been charged with harassment of me,” she adds. “We are due at court for a hearing but it has been rescheduled as we went into lockdown. He has been good since he’s been on bail but he has no way of contacting me now and he has strict bail conditions about directly or indirectly contacting me. He doesn’t come to the house because I have CCTV.”

Lisa says the coronavirus lockdown has compounded the situation and her family had spotted her ex-partner in places where he should not be – adding that she is now more wary of where she goes and what she does.

“Since the lockdown, I always make someone from my family aware when I’m leaving the house and they track me on an app,” she adds. “I wouldn’t normally be walking for hours in open spaces which are accessible to anyone. I normally work out in a private gym. It’s a safe environment with limited members. He has ruined my life and has made me miss out on so much stuff.”

*Amrita and Lisa’s names have been changed to protect their identities