Parents say 12 is age children should get more independence

Gaining more freedom ‘is fundamental for confidence and healthy development’ of offspring

Spending money on their own initiative is a key indicator of growing up, poll suggests (PA Wire)

Parents think children should be given independence from the age of 12, by being able to choose their own haircut, get a mobile phone and remember to do their own homework, according to a survey.

A poll of 750 parents and their children aged between six and 16 found adults considered their offspring being able to use public transport alone and being allowed to go to sleepovers or spend nights away from home as signs of growing up.

But the biggest signs, they said, were walking to school alone (21 per cent) and expressing their own opinions (21 per cent).

When it came to children developing their own financial freedom, top signs included their child choosing how they spend and save (29 per cent) and getting a part-time job (25 per cent).

However, 16 per cent of parents said they were worried about “letting go” and giving children more freedom.

Will Carmichael, chief executive of NatWest Rooster Money, which commissioned the survey, said: “Money is such an important part of our lives as adults, so it’s essential families are empowered to help kids get to grips with it early."

The survey also found 20 per cent of parents whose child was reaching their secondary school years were anxious about them walking to school alone.

The other biggest anxieties were around relinquishing control, with 21 per cent concerned about their child handling their own money at school.

A further 20 per cent were hung up on their children’s friends, and 19 per cent worried about bad influences.

It also emerged 21 per cent of children approaching their next stage of schooling most looked forward to more freedom when they get to this point.

But 24 per cent of parents said they were not ready for their offspring to be more independent.

The research also found 46 per cent believed today’s children were becoming independent at a much younger age.

Of those, 38 per cent thought it was because they had access to more knowledge through the internet and social media, while 36 per cent put it down to parents having more honest conversations with them.

Of the parents who had a child aged between 13 and 16, 46 per cent had given them even more monetary independence by allowing them to have a part-time job.

Yet well under half (39 per cent) of those in this group thought their children understood the value of money. Nonetheless, three in four parents said they currently give their child some form of pocket money – whether “earned” or not – at an average of £17 a month.

The research, conducted via OnePoll, also revealed the things parents would be happy for their children to spend money on without asking, including books (31 per cent), clothes (21 per cent) and sweets (22 per cent).

Meanwhile, 23 per cent of children polled said they would like to spend on clothes without checking with their parents. Three in 10 of the children surveyed insisted they did understand the value of money.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, a leading child behavioural psychologist added: “Parenting can be one of the most rewarding and challenging life experiences and one of the most fundamental aspects of parenting is to help kids become self-sufficient.

“That transition from depending on you completely to being able to make choices and decisions that feed into their emotional, physical and practical wellbeing is fundamental for their confidence and healthy development.

“As such, learning to balance our need to keep our kids safe with the equally important need of letting them challenge themselves, try new things and slowly experience independence is key.”