Abuse survivor: Victims need to be a ‘human chain of strength’

Andrea Aviet was abused by her husband for several years before escaping with her children and becoming a campaigner.

Andrea Aviet, 39, who lives in London, was subjected to coercive control by her former husband for several years before escaping with her two children and becoming an advocate for women’s rights (PA) (PA Archive)

An abuse survivor and campaigner has said abuse victims need to act as a “human chain of strength” as women across the globe come together to celebrate International Women’s Day.

Andrea Aviet, 39, who lives in London, was subjected to coercive control by her ex-husband for several years before escaping with her two children and becoming an advocate for women’s rights.

After forging a new life, she said she wanted to use her “bad experience as a source of strength to inspire others to live a life without shame”.

She said: “When it’s physical abuse, you actually see the marks and you know something is wrong but when it’s mental and coercive control it’s like a thief coming in the night.

“You’re unprepared. You don’t know what’s happening. This is the person you love and you decide to spend the rest of your life with.

“When that person starts to turn and be something else totally different, which you’ve never expected, you really don’t know what’s going on.

“And it’s like, ‘Am I dreaming? Was it me? Was it my fault?'”

Miss Aviet said when it comes to abuse, there are always “hard choices” and that “it’s not black or white”, adding: “I need to be a voice for those who have lost their voice.”

When it's physical abuse, you actually see the marks and you know something is wrong but when it's mental and coercive control it's like a thief coming in the night

Andrea Aviet

Reflecting on International Women’s Day on Tuesday, she said: “We need to celebrate. We need to stand together and we need to show each other that we are like a chain, a human chain of strength.”

In 2016, Miss Aviet published a self-financed book, White Sorrow, which documented the abuse she experienced.

We need to celebrate. We need to stand together and we need to show each other that we are like a chain, a human chain of strength.

Andrea Aviet

In 2019, she was awarded the British Empire Medal for her services to domestic abuse victims and survivors.

Earlier this week, she was part of an event in Croydon, south London, where attendees received massages and makeovers and heard speeches from guests, including the mayor of Croydon Sherwan Chowdhury.

He said: “I know that Andrea Aviet has turned her own painful experiences into a power for good and has become a positive role model and campaigner.

“(On) International Women’s Day it is important to redouble our efforts to address inequality and celebrate the huge contribution women make to society, not only here but, at these challenging times, around the world.”