The Conservatives in Brighton: The Tory Dictionary of Political Abuse

Apples (two) short of a picnic: MPs who cannot be trusted by the Prime Minister to organise an al fresco meal. (First use: John Major)

Bastards: MPs with whom John Major disagrees. (Major)

cp Barmy: ditto, but may have been knighted for political service in the Conservative party. (Major)

Deeply lippy: outspoken critic of John Patten. (Patten)

Flapping of white coats: The sound the Prime Minister hears around dissident knights of the shires. (Major)

Nutter: chief education officer attempting to improve the country's worst schools. (Patten)

S-H-one-T: numberplate on a bastard's Jaguar. (Major)

Socialists: bastards, but they don't let you down. (Tory ministers)