Vivienne Westwood to offer David Cameron a Christmas present of Asbestos

Nothing says good will to all men like a material known to cause illness and sometimes death

Vivienne Westwood has come up with an unconventional Christmas gift for David Cameron this year – Asbestos.

In the role of Santa’s little helper, the activist and fashion designer will accompany Father Christmas (who will wear a gas mask, naturally) to Downing Street at 9am tomorrow bearing her unlikely gift to build awareness of the dangers of Fracking. Whether or not the designer will be in full costume is not yet confirmed, sadly.

“We’re all guinea pigs in David Cameron’s grand experiment with the lives of the British public.”

Also included in Westwood’s festive treat is an open letter from Talk Fracking signed by 150 high-profile supporters of the campaign including Sir Paul McCartney, Stella McCartney, Yoko Ono, Helena Bonham Carter, Jude Law and Russell Brand, as well as research for the Prime Minister to read over the Christmas period highlighting the perils of fracking.

“[The gift includes] some recent reports that show clear links between the Fracking industry and birth defects, in addition to many other very serious health issues,” said Westwood.