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Stephen Fry apologises ‘unreservedly’ for claiming sex abuse survivors should ‘grow up’ and stop pitying themselves

'There are few experiences more terrible, traumatic and horrifying than rape and abuse', says Fry

Heather Saul
Thursday 14 April 2016 09:54 BST
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Stephen Fry criticised after suggesting sexual abuse survivors should not 'pity' themselves

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Stephen Fry has apologised “unreservedly” for suggesting survivors of sexual assault need to stop self-pitying and “grow up”.

The comedian and actor was branded “irresponsible” and “beyond contempt” over his remarks, which came during a discussion on the US talk show The Rubin Report about free-speech, censorship, safe-spaces and trigger warnings.

“There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape,” he had said.

“They’re terrible things and they have to be thought about, clearly, but if you say you can’t watch this play, you can’t watch Titus Andronicus, or you can’t read it in a Shakespeare class, or you can’t read Macbeth because it’s got children being killed in it, it might trigger something when you were young that upset you once, because uncle touched you in a nasty place, well I’m sorry.

“It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place – you get some of my sympathy – but your self-pity gets none of my sympathy because self-pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity.

“Get rid of it because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Grow up.”

The mental health charity Mind, where Fry is President, said it would be addressing the concerns expressed by many over his comments.

One survivor of sexual assault wrote an open letter to Fry addressing his remarks. Writing in The New Day, Tracey Merrett told Fry: “Hearing you cut me down for continuing to let it affect me as an adult turned me cold.”

The newspaper then approached Fry, who is currently is the US, with the letter and he responded in an email. Fry told The New Day: “I of course apologise unreservedly for hurting feelings the way I did. That was never my purpose.

“There are few experiences more terrible, traumatic and horrifying than rape and abuse and if I gave the impression that I belittled those crimes and the effects they have on their victims then I am so so sorry.

“It seems I must have utterly failed to get across what I was actually trying to say and instead offended and upset people who didn’t deserve to be offended or upset.”

A representative for Fry told The Independent there will be no further comment.

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