Robert Peston reveals that male friends were insensitive and female friends offered 'useful, practical' advice after his wife died
Novelist Sian Busby succumbed to cancer in 2012 at the age of 51
Your support helps us to tell the story
From reproductive rights to climate change to Big Tech, The Independent is on the ground when the story is developing. Whether it's investigating the financials of Elon Musk's pro-Trump PAC or producing our latest documentary, 'The A Word', which shines a light on the American women fighting for reproductive rights, we know how important it is to parse out the facts from the messaging.
At such a critical moment in US history, we need reporters on the ground. Your donation allows us to keep sending journalists to speak to both sides of the story.
The Independent is trusted by Americans across the entire political spectrum. And unlike many other quality news outlets, we choose not to lock Americans out of our reporting and analysis with paywalls. We believe quality journalism should be available to everyone, paid for by those who can afford it.
Your support makes all the difference.Robert Peston, the economics editor of the BBC, has revealed that after the death of his wife male friends made insensitive remarks while female friends offered “really useful, practical” advice and help.
Novelist Sian Busby, a school friend of Mr Peston's sister Juliet, dated Mr Peston while at university but they split up, only to rekindle their relationship and marry in 1998. She died from cancer at the age of 51 in 2012.
Mr Peston noticed that women seemed better equipped to help him cope with her loss.
“A lot of the things that men said to me after Sian died were just stupid,” he said in an interview with Red magazine.
“Things like, ‘Give it a few months, the pain will ease and you can move on and get a new girlfriend’ kind of thing. ‘You’ll get over it’ sort of stuff.
“Most women said, ‘Can I help? What do you need?’ Lots of really useful, practical stuff.”
He said he was particularly touched by friends who had offered to cook for his family, which he said was “the nicest, warmest gesture I could have imagined… a manifestation of love”.
Mr Peston, 55, said grief was “a terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible thing”.
“It’s taken me a f*** of a long time to develop strategies to try not to feel lonely. Finding things you like doing, seeing friends,” he said.
“For quite a long time I couldn’t do those things, because I’d lost the ability to do those things.”
However he said that now “things feel a hell of a lot better than they did”.
“I increasingly think I’m a bloody lucky person. I’ve got a job that I love, I’ve got kids that I love,” he said.
“In the immediate period after Sian died, I did wonder whether I would ever be able to have a relationship with anyone else ever again. And the positive thing is that I think that is possible.”
For further exclusive content, please go to to www.redonline.co.uk/robert-peston
Join our commenting forum
Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies
Comments