How We Met: Wim Wenders & Deepak Nayar

'Every time we talk he bends his knees – I'm 5ft 8in, he's 6ft 2in – which he thinks is funny'

(Dan Tuffs)

Deepak Nayar, 49, is the independent film producer whose critically acclaimed hits have included David Lynch's Lost Highway, Bend it Like Beckham and Buena Vista Social Club. He lives in LA with his wife and two children

I'd finished producing Lost Highway just over 10 years ago and the company that funded it asked me to meet with Wim, who wanted to do a movie set in LA. The movie didn't happen at that time, but I felt we'd struck a chord while he was over here, so I said, "Why don't we do something else?

I didn't have the money to continue paying his hotel bill, and he seemed like a decent guy, so I suggested he stay with [my wife] Mary and I at our house in LA while he worked on a screenplay [which would become The End of Violence].

We had breakfast every morning, we went swimming together, we worked out and we talked. Eventually his wife Donata came over to stay with us, too. We were like family, so before we even got to the End of Violence set, Wim and I had bonded. That changed a lot: any disagreements we had didn't come from the perspective of director and producer, it was more, "Oh that's Deepak being idiotic – we'll chat about it when we're home." After the film wrapped Wim brought a place a few minutes' drive away, and we did another three projects together.

Buena Vista came about while we were working out together in the gym at home. I used to work out to this famous Pakistani Sufi singer, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, then one day, he said, "Let's listen to this instead." I said, "We can't work out to just any bloody CD, Wim!" He said, "Just trust me." It was the Buena Vista Social Club album. I was impressed. He said his friend, the musician Ry Cooder, had given it to him and wanted him to go to Cuba to do a documentary on the performers. "Are you interested?" I said, "I'll do anything you want me to do."

Wim is a great person to collaborate with. Being an independent producer is very tough; you never have enough money, so you need a director who can help you find creative ways of doing things, which Wim was good at.

Wim and I are very different. He's outgoing and loves socialising, and I'm low-key. And he has a typically German sense of humour: every time he talks to me he bends his knees – I'm only 5ft 8in and he's 6ft 2in – which he thinks is very funny.

After six years in LA he felt stifled – this is the Mecca of the film world, but Wim has never played inside the system – so once we finished The Million Dollar Hotel in 2000 he went back to Germany. But he's still a very close friend. He always finds the time to call if it's my wife or my children's birthdays, and we email a lot. When he comes to LA we all hang out together – me, Wim, Mary and Donata. We don't really talk shop very much any more, other than to say, "Are we going to work on something else together? We had so much fun."

Wim Wenders, 63, is an award-winning German film director whose work includes Paris, Texas; Wings of Desire and Buena Vista Social Club. He lives in Berlin with his wife

I was looking for a producer for this project in LA and Deepak seemed like he knew his numbers, and I realised that he'd make a solid production partner.

Unexpectedly, Deepak suggested I move into his guesthouse while I worked on the screenplay, which really brought us together. He'd get up every morning at 5am to do his meditation, and he had these swimming lessons downtown at the ungodly hour of 5:30am. I'd never seen an adult who couldn't swim, and it was touching, so out of solidarity I started going with him; seeing him overcome his fear of water really impressed me.

You never really know about someone until you're on set together. Most producers are excitable boys, but Deepak never lost his cool; no shouting, no nervous breakdowns. The few times we did go over schedule, it was Deepak who said, "You know what this is costing us, but if I were you I'd still shoot it."

He's so tough when negotiating with people; he goes to the very limit. I'd often have to leave the room. I'd say, "Deepak you're going to lose the location if you don't just settle on $1,000," and he'd say, "No, I'll get it for $800, you'll see." I know other producers like that, but they don't have the same respect for the film-making process. The only foolish decisions I've seen him make were about bets – he loves them. The biggest bet I won with him was on whether I could shoot Mel Gibson's entire part in Million Dollar Hotel in one week. He said it was impossible and bet several cases of champagne on it. He lost.

While I was living in LA, we socialised together a lot. We'd go out for dinner and to a few parties, but he's not a dancer; you can't get him to wiggle a leg normally – though when we went to a concert for his idol, Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, he danced up and down the aisles like a lunatic.

The depth of our friendship didn't change when I moved back to Berlin. The first phone call I make when I'm visiting is still to Deepak, and we meet for dinner.

I miss his neverending enthusiasm and his honesty; there are few other people I know who would never ever lie to me. But we don't take ourselves too seriously. We tease each other constantly; he's always so jealous of my hair and I love to touch his bald head. These little things are more important than big words.

Deepak Nayar is the co-founder of Filmaka.com, a new website for up-and-coming film-makers