Adele on her postnatal depression: 'I felt like I'd made the worst decision of my life'

Singer also praises women who ignore society and are brave enough to admit they do not want a baby

Adele (Getty)

Adele has said the postnatal depression she experienced after the birth of her first child made her believe she had made the “worst decision of her life” and left her scared to have another baby.

The singer gave birth to her only child Angelo, with partner Simon Konecki, in 2012.

“I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son and it frightened me,” she told Vanity Fair.

“My knowledge of postpartum – or postnatal, as well call it in England – is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child, you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate, I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life… it can come in many different forms.”

The 28-year-old said the experience means she is "too scared" to have another child and said her son already has a sibling in Konecki's child from a previous relationship. As for her own wellbeing, Adele says she gradually grew better by, after much initial reluctance, discussing how she was feeling with other mothers and pregnant women and taking time out for herself.

“Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f**k I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, I do but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it.”

Postnatal depression is estimated to affect one in ten women within a year of giving birth. Symptoms can include persistent low moods and anxiety, a lack of energy, difficulty bonding with your baby and frightening thoughts. Like other forms of depression, it can be treated by therapy and in some cases antidepressants.

Adele said she is “very available” to depression and has had lots of therapy after slipping in and out of it since her grandfather died when she was 10-years-old but she hasn’t felt depressed since she “snapped out of of my postpartum depression”.

She also praised women who are open and honest about not wanting children saying she and her friends felt pressured to have children because that is what society expects you to do.

“I think it’s the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids because that’s what adults do. I love my son more than anything. but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the f**k I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that,” she said.

The singer is currently in the midst of a mighty world tour which has included visiting 43 cities, although she told the magazine she wouldn’t mind if she never tours again. Her third album 25 was on the top of the US charts for 10 weeks and the debut music video from the album, ‘Hello’, was viewed 1.6 million times per hour on the first day of its release. Reflecting on her album work, Adele said she does not think she would be able to recreate the magic of her iconic album 21 because of the lifestyle changes she has made since becoming a mother and growing older – namely drinking a lot less and quitting smoking.

“I can see from an outsider’s perspective that I will never write songs as good as the ones that are on 21, but I’m not as indulgent as I was then and I don’t have time to fall apart like I did then.

“I was completely off my face writing that album and a drunk tongue is an honest one. I would drink two bottles of wine and I would chain-smoke. Then I’d write the lyrics down and the next morning think, ‘F**k, that’s quite good.’ Then I’d find a melody. But since I’ve had my baby, I’m not as carefree as I used to be.”