The Square loses fans. Bang goes real life

As ratings fall, soaps add ever more outlandish plots, and in EastEnders' case, an extra day. These are desperate times, says Jane Robins

Nobody in my street has, as far as I know, ever killed a clingy girlfriend with an ashtray, shot a neighbour, or hired a hitman to wipe out a spouse. But we are very dull.

EastEnders is different. In Albert Square such events have become commonplace. A show once renowned for its down-to-earth realism is now dominated by increasingly bizarre goings-on and a growing crime rate.

Now that EastEnders has expanded from three to four episodes a week, you might expect some let up. But there is no sign of it. The current shows have little chit-chat in the caff, and instead are obsessed with the kidnap of Mel Owen by desperate Dan.

It is all very different from the early days of the programme, when the dramatic impact of Ethel's terrible error in the launderette was enough to secure audiences of 20 million. Ethel's mistake was to mix up Lofty's whites with his coloureds.

Back then the pinnacle of high drama was reached when Michelle became pregnant by Dirty Den, and Nick Cotton kept scowling darkly at his mother Dot. Now the stakes are much, much higher. To justify his presence in the show Nick Cotton is required to attempt to murder Mark Fowler. In the event, he failed. But he did end up killing his own son Ashley by mistake.

Coronation Street has also turned to serious crime. Its current main storyline has seen transsexual Hayley and her husband, Roy, on the run with young Wayne, a boy they "bought" from his stepfather for £5,000. As a result Hayley is now having a ghastly time in jail.

The trend began in 1995 when, in Channel 4's Brookside, Mandy Jordache killed her bullying husband Trevor and famously buried him under the patio. The ratings rocketed, and BBC editors noticed that, in soapland, crime pays.

Until that time, EastEnders had relied heavily on tricky social issues to give it an edge. Stories of rape, homosexual relationships and endless unwanted pregnancies were its everyday fare, and are still a strong part of the mix. But, overall, back-to-back thrillerish storylines of sex, violence and crime now define the show.

Such plots are the flip side of a long-term slide in the ratings for soaps. Audiences have fallen from around 30 million for a good, climactic EastEnders or Coronation Street 15 years ago, to 20 million, if you're lucky, now. And, in one sense, the storylines scream desperation, acting as audience-pulling gimmicks. The BBC's extra EastEnders is likely to make matters worse. The competition for soap viewers will increase, and the audience overall will decline further as it did when Corrie went from three episodes a week to four in 1996, and audiences fell by nearly a million.

But, despite the slide, soaps are still the most popular programmes on television by far. And the BBC, under Greg Dyke, is committed to ploughing many millions into them. If BBC1 is not popular, he believes, the BBC is dead. And if EastEnders is not a cracking success, BBC1 cannot claim to be popular. Nothing could be more important to him – not even sports rights.

Sadly, for those viewers who prefer launderette-based vignettes, it is the loonier and more grandiose plots which secure the most viewers from the declining pool. The "Who shot Phil?" storyline in EastEnders won an audience of 18 million, against a mere 13.6 million for the recent rape of Toyah Battersby on Coronation Street.

Keeping up the supply of preposterous storylines is not difficult. Over the years, the BBC has honed EastEnders into an impressive soap factory. The programme has 10 producers, 50 directors, 50 scriptwriters, and 15 script editors. With such resources, it is not that difficult to come up with potty ideas, particularly when you spice things up with a guest star. Sheila Hancock has just completed a fine spell; Susan George is on screen now and Cherie Lunghi will soon appear.

It used to be said that British soaps, unlike American ones, had to be realistic, because that is what viewers want. Times are changing. EastEnders and Corrie are not trying to be as glamorous as Dallas or Dynasty. But their plots are becoming just as daft.