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Californian husband makes incredible gesture for wife struggling with depression

Molly Murphy: ‘My husband gets the whole ‘For better, for worse’ thing’

Kate Ng
Saturday 12 December 2015 12:52 GMT
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Molly Murphy's image of the list her husband wrote titled 'Reasons I love my wife'
Molly Murphy's image of the list her husband wrote titled 'Reasons I love my wife' (Imgur)

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A Californian man made an unexpected and encouraging gesture for his depressed wife that has garnered over a million views and won the hearts of thousands.

Molly Murphy posted a picture of a list of 15 items titled ‘Reasons I love my wife’ written by her husband on their bedroom mirror after she came home from a trip to San Francisco.

The full list, penned by Tim Murphy, includes:

  • She is my best friend
  • She never quits on herself or me
  • She gives me time to work on my crazy projects
  • She makes me laugh, everyday
  • She is gorgeous
  • She accepts the crazy person I am
  • She’s the kindest person I know
  • She’s got a beautiful singing voice
  • She’s gone to a strip club with me
  • She has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity I know
  • She has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time
  • Without realising it, she makes me want to do more for her than I have ever wanted to do for anyone
  • She’s done an amazing job at advancing her career path
  • Small animals make her cry
  • She snorts when she laughs

Tim, an engineer at game-building company PlayQ, intended to write over 100 items but Molly had come home early, according to her post on Imgur, an image-sharing site.

Molly, who can be seen crying in the left side of the picture, explained her depression in the post was stemming from many factors: “Trying to do well at work. Just got married. Couldn’t afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends.”

She continued: “But the thing is, amidst all the struggle, my husband has relentlessly tried to cheer me up. I’m not the easiest person to deal with.

“In fact, sometimes I’ve lost all hope and even taken my frustration out on my new husband. But somehow he forgives me every time.

“He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today…”

The list says: 1. she is my best friend2. she never quits on herself or me3. she gives me time to work on my crazy projects4. she makes me laugh, everyday5. she is gorgeous6. she accepts the crazy person i am7. she&#039;s the kindest person i know8. she&#039;s got a beautiful singing voice9. she&#039;s gone to a strip club with me10. she has experienced severe tragedy yet is the most optimistic person about humanity i know11. she has been fully supportive about my career choices and followed me each time12. without realizing it, she makes me want to do more for her than i have ever wanted to do for anyone13. she&#039;s done an amazing job at advancing her career path14. small animals make her cry15. she snorts when she laughs<a class="imgur-image" data-hash="lCYGGb8" href="//imgur.com/lCYGGb8.jpg">http://imgur.com/lCYGGb8</a>I&#039;ve been juggling a LOT lately. Trying to do well at work. Just got married. Couldn&#039;t afford a wedding. Family is sparse. Falling out with friends, yaddadyadda. But, the thing is, amidst all the struggle, my husband has relentlessly tried to cheer me up. I&#039;ve not been the easiest person to deal with. In fact, sometimes I&#039;ve lost all hope and even taken my frustration out on my new husband. But he somehow forgives me every time. I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know he probably realizes I&#039;m depressed. But he holds my hand, and he tries his best. Today when I came home from a trip to SF, I flopped onto my bed in tears. I looked to my left, and saw these words painted all across my mirror. I think he wanted me to remember how much he loves me. Because he knows how quickly I forget. He knows I struggle to see good in the world, and especially the good in myself. But here it is. A testament and gesture of his love. Damn, I needed it today...I&#039;m not saying mental illness is cured by nice words on a mirror. In fact, it takes professional care, love, empathy, sometimes even medication just to cope. Many people struggle with it mental illness - more than we probably even realize. And instead of showing them hate or anger when they act out. Show them kindness and remind them things can and WILL get better. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. If that person can&#039;t be you - see if you have any resources for therapy.EDIT: The thing is... I am not &quot;too good&quot; or &quot;not good enough&quot; for my husband. We all have our down days. And sometimes we don&#039;t handle it well. BUT, we are partners. He is here for me when I&#039;m down. And I cherish that. And he has his down days, too. And I will be there to hold his hand, just like he holds mine. Life can be hard. The answer is never to mock, scoff, or belittle someone. Be kind. Be the best version of yourself. And be most of all- be patient.I&#039;m still struggling, but I&#039;m glad I have my other half to help me make it through. It may just be a few words on my mirror, but I&#039;ll look at them when I wake up and know I&#039;m not alone. I&#039;ll know I have my bestfriend, my co-pilot in life to help guide me through.

Molly acknowledged her depression is not something that can be cured by “nice words on a mirror” but wants people to know kindness helps things get better.

Hundreds of Imgur users commenting on the image showed their support for the Murphys.

One user wrote: “Hang in there kid. You got yourself a good one.”

Another Imgur user added to the list: “16. She gets emotional about gay swans”, a reference to a list posted by another couple in November titled ‘Reasons my wife is crying’, which included “She found out swans can be gay and thought it was really nice”.

Another wrote: “A wedding is just an expensive party. It’s nothing. That there in the pic is the important stuff. Reaffirm your vows later if you want.”

A few users were more concerned about whether Tim used permanent marker on the mirror.

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