Travel: Simon Calder column

Remember the breath of fresh air that Virgin Atlantic brought to flying when Richard Branson's airline started up on the Gatwick-Newark route? Fun and irreverence were the key words, especially on the inaugural flight when a bunch of journalists (and a few unfortunate fare-paying passengers) drank the plane dry. Mr Branson had to be restrained from naming the economy section "Riff-Raff", which would have made "Upper Class" passengers feel even more superior. Legend has it that the in-flight movie was the aviation disaster spoof, Airplane. But 13 years on, Virgin could be losing its freshness - at least if you take its flight VS3019 on that original route.

The reason is aviation's current fad: code-sharing. As reported last week, Virgin and Continental Airlines have teamed up to acquire a tranche of new flights without needing a single extra plane. They take an allocation of seats on each other's flights, which means that VS3019 is a Continental DC-10 rather than a Virgin Jumbo.

For passengers who like Virgin's grown-up attitude to flying, the consequences are disconcerting. No seatback video. No Hot Air (one of the few readable in-flight magazines). No swearing.

That's right, no swearing. I'm not suggesting that Virgin's flight crew are free with the expletives. But the in-flight entertainment provided by Mr Branson's airline is presented, uncensored, as the artists intended. Because Virgin aircraft are fitted with individual seatback TV sets rather than a big cabin screen, the airline can show risque material without fear of offence.

When Continental is pretending to be Virgin, though, it censors the in- flight movie - and even the songs on its audio programme.

I found this out last Saturday when flying on the Newark flight. The movie soundtrack sporadically muted, even though the characters' lips mysteriously kept moving. Across on the only listenable audio channel is devoted to rock legends such as Pink Floyd. The track selected was "Money" from Dark Side of the Moon, which includes the word "bull****"; on Continental, the asterisks are replaced by audio mush.

The flight, though, was the best I've had for years, because it was less than half-full. I stretched out across four other seats (I don't know whether they were Virgin or Continental ones, and in exchange for an economy ticket costing pounds 455 I got more sleep and comfort than those paying five times as much up front in Upper Class - or BusinessFirst, as it turned out to be.

Coming home, one employee made up for the over-sanitised absence of profanity. I won't reveal where or when I took the flight, because the poor chap was evidently having a bad day. But Continental may wish to improve the soundproofing between the cargo hold and the main passenger cabin.

The plane missed its appointed departure slot, due to what the pilot said were "a few last-minute bags". (This phrase has always intrigued me: it implies that some ill-disciplined luggage has been hanging around in the airport bar until the last possible moment, whereas in fact most people's baggage arrives, with them, and hour or two before the flight.)

Continental prides itself on punctuality, to the extent of paying staff $100 bonuses when it achieves the top on-time award from the US Department of Transportation. Perhaps this is why feelings ran high.

A luggage loader was buried deep in the hold. I presume his supervisor said something to the effect of "You're delaying this plane". To the audience in the economy cabin, which fortunately was entirely adult, the response was "No f***ing s***? I don't give a goddamn".

This time, the expletives were undeleted.

The delay was a matter of minutes, rather than the two days suffered by British Airways passengers in Miami this week. BA refunded the fares of the weary travellers, and in addition paid them pounds 500 each.

According to the onerous terms of the Warsaw Convention, a scheduled airline ticket is nothing more than a vague promise to get you from A to B, quite possibly via C, at a time of the airline's choosing. Perhaps BA was fearful of legal action in the US. Whatever, it has raised passengers' expectations of compensation, so expect a big fuss next time a plane is seriously delayed.