Football: Ten things that Spurs' new Swiss coach Christian Gross might soon be missing
Sidelines
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Your support makes all the difference.1 Berne's annual onion market, which takes place on the fourth Monday of November and has the whole city centre crying. (Still, Spurs are sure to make Gross weep.)
2 Inventive minds - the Swiss have registered more patents per capita than any other country.
3 The good-natured exuberance of young Swiss footballers. Like the five Under-15 Switzerland players who were banned indefinitely this week for threatening members of the public with knives and smuggling girls to their rooms at a training camp. 4 Swiss order and charm.
5 Impartiality. Geneva has over 200 international organisations' HQs.
6 Valuable foreign assets. Swiss gold may be stolen, but at least it's in demand, unlike White Hart Lane's current imports.
7 The St Bernard Pass. Unlike the Tottenham pass, it is only unpredictable in bad weather.
8 Heidi.
9 The Glacier Garden, proof that Lucerne was a subtropical palm beach last time Spurs were consistent - about 20 million years ago.
10 Cheese, chocolate, lederhosen, gnomes and yodelling.
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