Education Quandary: My son wants to join the Combined Cadet Force

My son wants to join the Combined Cadet Force at secondary school next year. We are not keen. Any advice?

Hilary's advice

You say you don't like the idea because it is "militaristic" and it is true that there is no way round the fact that the Combined Cadet Force is exactly that. Cadets wear uniforms, learn square-bashing, salute commanding officers and go on exercises.

On the other hand, a lot of things they do - camping, adventure challenges - are not so different from what they would do if they were pursuing, say, their Duke of Edinburgh's award, and they learn highly useful skills such as first aid and map reading along the way. They may also learn to sail or fly - expensive hobbies if you try to pursue them alone.

In addition, so the enthusiasts claim, cadets develop leadership abilities, self-reliance, discipline and initiative, as well as learning about team-work and how to serve the community. All of which are things in mighty short supply in our fragmented, individualistic, iPod-plugged-in society, so you could do worse than swallow your objections and encourage him to go ahead.

It may be difficult for you to deal with the trappings of the armed forces when you are so opposed to these, and there is no reason not to explain to him what you feel and why. You have a right to your views, as he does to his. But, realistically, stopping him doing something like this, when he wants to, is only likely to lead to family rows and recriminations.

If you are still unsure, though, ask to speak to whoever is in charge and get more details of the school's particular training programme. That will help you clarify how you view it.

Readers' advice

Why be against it? Both my son and daughter were in the CCF, and it did more for them than any of the lessons they sat through at school. They both loved the camps, and developed a great sense of camaraderie and an appetite for adventure. I'm sure it helped their confidence bloom and made them much more independent. My son enjoyed learning to shoot, although neither he nor my daughter took the military side of it very seriously. They called it " playing at soldiers" and used to make mock salutes to each other around the house.

Melanie Keynes, Surrey

It seems absurd that across the Atlantic they spend their time trying to stop pupils bringing guns into schools while here we spend our time handing them out!

Lionel Browne, Liverpool

I was in the CCF for one term and left. I couldn't stand the puffed-up bullies who ran it. It is only good for people who like taking orders and not thinking for themselves. One of its stated aims is to encourage young people to take up military careers and I know my father was hoping that was what it would do for me. All young people are taught to fire rifles. Most CCFs are in independent schools, so you can see at once where people are coming from. You should tell your son to get involved in other activities that don't have the same overtones.

Richard Fiern, London SW1

Next quandary

Will it really improve children's basic reading and writing to all be taught synthetic phonics, as schools are now going to be told to do? I feel there have been so many chops and changes about reading over the years, that this is likely to be just another one that is discredited a few years down the road.

Send your letters to Hilary Wilce by Monday, at 'The Independent', Education Desk, Independent House, 191 Marsh Wall, London E14 9RS; or fax: 020-7005 2143; or e-mail: h.wilce@btinternet.com. Please include your postal address. Readers whose letters are printed will receive a Berol Combi Pack containing a cartridge pen, handwriting pen and ink eraser