Pembroke: Vastly underpaid at Trade

SYCOPHANCY at the annual dinner of the Association of the British Pharmaceutical Industry, where Michael Heseltine pitched up as principal speaker. The ABPI's president, Stewart Siddall, introduced Mr Heseltine with couplets from Gilbert and Sullivan: 'All present here agree . . ./ He's highly overpaid/ First there was no Board/ And now there is no Trade]'

But this, said Mr Siddall, certainly does not describe the present incumbent. 'Perhaps we should rephrase this,' he continued. 'He's vastly underpaid/ Now there is a Board/ And, hopefully, more Trade.' Urrrgh.

ANOTHER financial journalist stands to be accused of turning poacher. John Bell moves today from the Times business section's top job to Anthony Cardew's PR firm. He follows the example of his predecessor, David Brewerton, who jumped the Wapping security fence two years ago to Alan Parker's Brunswick. Bell, the affable veteran of the Sunday Times, Sunday Express and Sunday Standard, leaves a vacancy that may be filled by one of three internal candidates: Robbie Ballantyne, Lindsay Cook and the sage of Suffolk, Graham Searjeant.

POOR OLD County NatWest Investment Management. Last week, fed up with seeing its rivals BZW Investment Management and Legal & General tout successfully for business, it held its own roadshow and presentation to re-establish its reputation as an indexed fund manager. But, as clients and - worse - non-clients arrived at the seminar and waited to be impressed, they heard instead that Nigel Lester, the 40-year-old chief executive who had held his post for three years, had chosen that moment to announce his resignation.

PHILIP GREEN, the ex-Amber Day boss, will not be making a stock market comeback after all. When a colleague called to ask about speculation that he was behind the bid by Helene for Gabicci, he typically did not mince his words: 'The only stake I've bought of late came from the butchers and jolly nice it was too. I'd need to see a psychiatrist to buy into a public company after the battering you guys have given me. I'm going to stay nice and private.'

THOSE WITH minutes to kill in reception at Grant Thornton can distract themselves with a look at the scale model of the redevelopment, proposed by the late Robert Maxwell, of the Mirror Group building, 'Maxwell Towers', at Holborn Circus and the surrounding site. Since the accountants are the appointed receivers to Robert Maxwell Estates, the group's property arm, and Mirror Group Newspapers is threatening to leave the building, Grant Thornton may feel that the model could come in mighty useful one day soon.

CLAUDE BEBEAR, the French insurance tycoon, was in London on Friday with a familiar tale to tell. Like its British rivals, Mr Bebear's AXA is plagued by fraudulent motor claims. French insurers, he said, now pay to replace more windscreens than the yearly total that France both makes and imports.