Throwing a dinner party is a way to connect. Rookies, don't be intimidated

Throwing a dinner party can be a great way to connect with other people at a time when many say they're struggling with loneliness

When Sarah Bellinger, a Gen Z public relations executive, decided to throw her first dinner party, she invited just five friends and served her go-to recipe: a creamy Tuscan chicken pasta.

“I wasn’t nervous, because it was just a small group of my closest friends, but I was definitely very excited. It felt like the most adult thing I did all month," said Bellinger, who lives in East Hartford, Connecticut.

The evening was a success, she says, and the cooking was easy, though there was a little more chopping prep than she’d anticipated. “I realized I probably should have done that before they came, but I used that hindsight for the next time I did a dinner," she said.

Or take the case of Anita Michaud, 25, who moved to Brooklyn Heights, New York, in 2021 for work. It was a challenge to find new friends. So she started advertising her idea for a “ Dinner With Friends ” on social media. The 8– to 10-person themed events held in hosts' homes now have wait lists in the hundreds.

Throwing a dinner party — anything from a pot of chili to a multi-course feast — is a great way to build social connections, at a time when that can be hard to do. There’s something about preparing and sharing a meal that bonds people.

If you’re just starting out, have no fear

You might not be ready for Michaud's level of dinner partying, but with some simple planning and a little effort, hosting your first group nosh needn’t be daunting.

Remember: You’re inviting friends — they already like you. You’re doing it in your own place; you know your way around. And you’re not trying to be Gatsby — it’s supper with your besties. Just take it easy.

Some ways to do that:

Set the Scene

Even without a proper dining table, you can host small groups around a counter, or even a large coffee table. Don’t worry about matching glasses and plates; we’re living in a more freewheeling era, where motley styles and mix ‘n’ match make as stylish a table setting as a full set of crockery.

Don’t have enough proper plates and utensils? There are cool, new, compostable alternatives to standard disposable plates and cutlery.

Some well-chosen supermarket flowers and simple candles are really all you need to create ambience. Jessie-Sierra Ross, a food and entertaining blogger in Holyoke, Massachusetts, advises arrangements of three or five — “we’re wired to be attracted to odd-numbered groupings of items.”

“Music sets the mood,” notes Atlanta-based food blogger Erica Thomas. “I always recommend planning it in advance. A fun tip is to ask your guests to send over two of their favorite songs, then create a playlist. Apple Music and Spotify offer ‘dinner party’ playlists.”

Have beverages at the ready

“If you decide to provide cocktails, create a recipe that can be used in batches,” advises Thomas. “That way, your guests can self-serve. When hosting a dinner party, it’s all about elevating. Have a water self-serve station with fruit ice cubes, or lemon and basil. It’s simple but will impress your guests.”

Ross likes the idea of offering a homemade cocktail to get things rolling as guests arrive. A favorite: grapefruit Aperol spritz.

She also suggests setting up a spritz bar with all the fixings. “Guests can play at-home mixologist.”

So, what's for dinner?

Choose a menu theme, and go with the tried-and-true.

Real Simple editor Lisa Milbrand suggests picking a favorite place in the world for some sample dishes: Italian lasagna, French crepes, Japanese noodles, Greek orzo, Korean bibimbap, or Chinese dumplings and rice, for example. Or have a little fun with time travel — maybe ’70s-era cheese fondues and casseroles, or sample medieval fare like savory pies, fruits and honeys.

Michaud’s themes have included a Lebanese-Indian feast that featured hummus, curry, labneh and pistachio almond cake, washed down with a fizzy spiced apple cardamom cocktail. Yum.

Keep it simple. “Pasta is great because it’s easy to accommodate dietary restrictions — you can use gluten-free noodles, avoid dairy, and choose to include a protein or not. It’s fail-proof," says Thomas.

“I recommend using a go-to recipe that you know is reliable,” she continued. "Avoid experimenting with new dishes on the day of the event.... If you want to try a new dish, practice it a few weeks in advance to perfect it.”

Pre-cook as much as you can

“I’m a firm believer in making as much ahead of time as possible,” says Real Simple’s Jenna Helwig. “My personal dinner-party go-to is either butternut squash lasagna or sausage and broccoli rabe baked rigatoni. I assemble them up to a day ahead, they bake as people arrive, and all I have to do before dinner is toss together a salad with dressing made earlier in the day. Nobody’s ever complained!”

Consider focusing your efforts on one or two dishes, what Ross calls stars of the show.

“It could be a beautiful piece of beef tenderloin or a decadent flourless chocolate cake. Choose recipes that create maximum impact at the table for everyone to enjoy, then choose less time-intensive recipes for the rest of the menu,” she says.

Another great option, especially for your picky eaters: an assemble-your-own dinner. Think custom pizzas, salads, sandwiches or tacos.

Finally, “plan your menu by thinking seasonally,” advises Ross. See what’s fresh and in season for the best prices and quality. Got a good fish market near you? Baked, buttered cod takes only 20 minutes. Berries in season? Berry bowls with coconut whipped cream could be a nice finish.

Bellinger has found a not-so-secret weapon. “One of my favorite tools is my Instapot! It’s so easy to pop everything in and hit the button before friends come, so I can actually enjoy the party instead of cooking the whole time.”

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New York-based writer Kim Cook covers design and decor topics regularly for The Associated Press. Follow her on Instagram at @kimcookhome.

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