Mother writes hilarious poem called ‘Daddy’s Asleep’ about her husband, who sleeps instead of helping with the baby
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Your support makes all the difference.A mother called Caroline Olling Anderson penned a funny poem about her husband and his sleeping habits – in light of the baby they share.
Anderson’s husband is a primary school teacher and she told Bored Panda that she often has a laugh with him. This time was no different.
She posted the poem, which she titled ‘Daddy’s Asleep’, on her Facebook page, and it received more than 22,000 likes – for reasons which will become very clear as you read said poem.
It began: "I love your daddy, I really do,"
After all, without daddy, I wouldn’t have you.
But from midnight till sunrise, it’s just you and I.
And as each hour passes, I’m not gonna lie:
Mommy’s love slowly fades, becomes angry and weak,
Because no matter what, your dad is f***ing asleep!
And it just got better.
It all starts out lovely. We kiss each other goodnight.
We look lovingly down at you dear, such a beautiful sight.
An hour later, mommy wakes with a start.
You’re twisting and turning, you’re starting to fart.
You’re gesturing for food. Mommy is there
with a bottle or breast
Daddy is snoring away, the way he knows best.
Mommy burps you, and holds you and rocks you with care.
You spew foul smelling yogurt on mommy’s freshly washed hair.
As mommy changes her shirt, and mops vomit off the floor.
Your daddy farts, rolls over and continues to snore.
Mommy’s maternal alarm goes off, it’s not even three!
You’re stirring again, you’re hungry and staring at me!
“I think she is hungry” your daddy offers, pulls duvet over his head,
Mommy sends him a death stare and rolls out of bed.
Mommy comes back, tired and drained and what is this I see?
Your daddy has taken over my side, doesn’t give a f*** about me!
You can read the entire wonderful piece of literature, below:
People thought her poem was hilarious
"This is gold!!!" one Facebook user wrote. "F***ing men and their useless nipples!" another woman joked.
A third said:
Brilliant!
Following some criticism that she was shaming mums - and dads - she took to her blog The Mommy Poet, to set a few things straight.
She wrote: “There are comments shaming my husband, comments shaming me... comments where I was like ‘why are you so angry at me, dear stranger. What part of my “meant to be funny” poem made you so upset?’”
But I’m not going to play a saint. I too have been an angry post commentator, and the mommy/daddy shaming business is something we’ve all been guilty of at one point or another.
When I was pregnant, my husband and I could spend hours talking about how we would raise our child, and all the things we most DEFINITELY would not do. We had it all figured out!
10 weeks into parenthood, and we will gladly throw all our pre-parenting principles down the drain, stick a pacifier in her face and plonk her in front of “baby sensory tv” if it means just 15 min of freedom to have a cup of coffee and a pee.
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