When a split-up breaks the bank

When divorce strikes, it's invariably the woman who's left holding the baby - and balancing the books.

We all think it'll never happen to us, but one in three marriages now break up in the UK. Divorce may be a catastrophic loss or a blessed relief after years of connubial misery - either way, though, it's a huge upheaval, both emotional and financial.

We all think it'll never happen to us, but one in three marriages now break up in the UK. Divorce may be a catastrophic loss or a blessed relief after years of connubial misery - either way, though, it's a huge upheaval, both emotional and financial.

And women are particularly vulnerable when it comes to money matters. Most younger women are able to support themselves financially, but their situation is often complicated by young children. Take 40-year-old Ann, whose husband of seven years has left her and their two small children for another woman.

They were a prosperous, double-income family with a handsome house in south-west London, which doubled as her office. But in order to split the joint equity fairly, she has to sell their home, give him a chunk of the proceeds, and move with the kids to somewhere smaller; or raise the cash to buy him out.

"The courts have no interest in fault," she says, "so we are penalised for his decision to break-up the family."

The highest incidence of divorce for women, however, is among the 50-pluses - many of whom not only have little or no career to fall back on. They often don't know where to turn for help in organising and managing cashflow, investments, insurance and mortgages.

What can women facing divorce do to help themselves financially? First, says Donna Bradshaw at IFAs Fiona Price & Partners (who specialise in financial planning for women), get a specialist solicitor who is a member of the Family Law Association. "They are less confrontational, which can be invaluable in coming to a satisfactory settlement," she says.

Secondly, to get the best settlement, you need a firm grip on the state of your joint finances. "Make as full a list as you can of all your assets - both the jointly-owned stuff and those in your name or his," advises Donna Bradshaw. That should include pensions, life insurance and any work-related benefits your husband receives.

"Then write down all your expenditure - fixed costs such as mortgages and club memberships, variables such as food and make-up, and savings or investment payments," she says. "The more you put down, the better chance you have of a fair settlement."

Younger women are likely to get a "clean break" settlement, in which a lump sum is allocated on the basis of total assets and each party's outgoings. Maintenance may be payable if you're not working.

Once you have your settlement, you need independent financial help. Be aware,IFAs vary considerably in quality. You must be able to trust the person you're working with; personal recommendations are always useful. Fee-based IFAs are preferable to those working on commission, as you're more likely to get impartial opinions.

"Older women without career prospects tend to be most needy, because their whole income derives from the settlement," says Donna Bradshaw.

The discretionary portfolio manager Close Wealth Management has recently launched Solo, a low-entry portfolio service for divorcees (and widows) with £25,000 plus to invest. MD Martin Smith says the aim is to make financial planning accessible for inexperienced and upset clients. To that end, Close employs female advisers. "They're more empathetic," he says; "and thats important in establishing a trusting relationship at a time when clients don't know who to trust in the investment jungle."

Don't rush into anything after you have come to a settlement. But you need to take responsibility for your finances as part of an independent future - it's not rocket science, and it is an empowering experience.

Fiona Price & Partners 0171 430 0366, produce a useful booklet, The Divorced Women's Survival Guide (£2.95).

Close Wealth Management 0171 423 6400; Family Law Association 01689 850227