'George Clooney effect': I don't want a cup of what that dishy hunk is selling

If the actor is involved in the marketing of anything, the ad agency's powers of persuasion become altogether less crucial. But Donald MacInnes has so far managed to resist the urge to buy a new coffee machine...

'The only thing we care about is that Mr George Clooney is endorsing the product' (Getty Images)

Our long and winding journey as consumers begins when we are children, sat cross-legged and saucer-eyed in front of the television and being metaphorically hit over the head by shouty adverts for whichever magical castle or day-glo bucket of bouncy slime is bewitching our peers. Because that's really the only criterion for whether or not we will start pestering our mum and dad to buy us something.

If enough of our friends want it, we want it too, dammit! Of course, as we get a little older, our reasons for wanting a product become a little harder to explain. Our individual foibles and the parameters of our lifestyles become the deciding factors in our choices of what to consume. Unless, of course, George Clooney is involved.

If the actor is involved in the marketing of anything, the ad agency's powers of persuasion become altogether less crucial. In the face of Clooney's, well, face – his strong, manly, twinkly-eyed shaggability – our normal defences fail like liquorice barbed wire, leaving us requiring nothing other than to consume whatever pudding or pie he is flogging. There is no need to dazzle us with clever words or slogans.

The only thing we care about is that Mr George Clooney is endorsing the product – and therefore we need only purchase it to become a little more like him. Or at least a little closer to the contents of his handmade Italian slacks.

And if you think you're immune, don't flatter yourself. The evidence is undeniable. Indeed, new numbers just released by the kind of people who release numbers inform us that damn near the whole country has been responding to Clooney's masterful work with Nespresso coffee makers.

Well, the whole country apart from me and my wife. Now, while I am not saying that the lovely Mrs MacInnes is immune to GC's preposterous masculinity and skyscraping hotness, the fact is that we are just not in the market for a new coffee maker. Our Lavazza A Modo Mio machine does us just fine. And, you know... it's a proper Italian coffee machine, kindly gifted to us on the occasion of our engagement.

Not that either of us are coffee snobs in any way (actually, we probably are), but I'm not sure we would want a coffee machine made by the same company that manufactures perhaps the worst instant coffee on Earth (Nescafé), as well as the grottiest chocolate (Milky Bar).

All that said, the Milky Bar Kid, in his own nerdy little way, managed to do exactly what Clooney has done, transcending his beginnings to become one of the true icons of TV marketing. And despite being strong and tough and knowing that only the best is good enough, the Kid did it all without having to debase himself and appeal to the public's groins, unlike Gorgeous George. But then again, all's fair in love and latte.