Five examples of everyday advice women receive that are actually terrible

Sex should not be a bargaining chip

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There are a lot of things that seem like great ideas in films, but definitely would not work so well in real life.

As young women, we often believe what we’re told but then learn to be more discerning as we grow up.

Would being “just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” really work? No, probably not.

There are many pieces of advice commonly given out to women that in practice would be terrible, and people are now sharing examples.

The top answer? Being told “you can change him!” The consensus was that actually no, you can’t change him.

“He has to be willing and committed to changing himself; you can't do it for him,” one woman wrote in the Reddit discussion.

“If you can't love him and accept him for who he is, just as he is, or if he’s treating you like garbage, you need to get out and find someone who's actually compatible with you (and doesn't treat you like garbage).”

There’s also the way sex is portrayed in many TV shows and films - it’s often shown to be a bargaining chip for women:

“Sex should not be a reward for men, nor should it be a task for women,” one explained. “Likewise, sex shouldn't be an act that is done by men to women. Sex should be a consensual act enjoyed between partners because they want to enjoy it.”

And these aren’t the only relationship tropes we see played out again and again - many women lament the idea that you have to play hard to get.

Or, as one woman described: “All the nonsense about ‘wait two days to text him back.’”

Being overly keen may be a turnoff, but we’re made to think that all men are only interested in the chase and that if you show that you like them, they’ll lose interest.

“No. If you like him, tell him so directly and use the word ‘date,’” one woman said, referencing the fact that we so often try to keep things casual by talking about just “hanging out.”

In fact, there seem to be many pieces of commonly dished-out relationship advice that women believe should be completely disregarded.

The fact that relationships take compromise and should be a lot of hard work, for example. Actually, they should be more joy than pain otherwise what’s the point?

“It shouldn't feel like ALL work at a fundamental level,” one woman said. “Too many people stay in mismatched relationships because they think they're supposed to be constantly working at it.” If it’s not working, it’s not worth it.

Relationships aside, another thing we’re often told - and women in particular, is that we must do everything we want to do in our lives in our twenties.

Because obviously once we hit 30, we’ll be old and ugly and stuck with babies and cleaning to do.

“Our whole culture of ‘DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR 20S BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME IN YOUR LIFE AND THE LAST TIME YOU WILL EVER BE BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE FUN’ really stresses me out,” one woman wrote.

“I’m about to turn 23 and I’m already scared I’m ‘running out of time.’ Time for what?! It’s so toxic.”

And she wasn’t the only one stressing out about getting older at a young age: “I had an internal freak-out when I hit 20 because I wasn’t a teenager anymore and it felt like I was running out of time to be young and pretty and valued,” another agreed.

But one woman offered some comforting advice to show that we shouldn’t let ourselves be freaked out by what society says: “Don't panic! I’m 32 next month and my thirties in two short years are already wayyyyyyy better and more fun than my twenties.”

There’s plenty of time.