Woman shares ‘red flag’ texts from man she met on dating app: ‘He sounds insufferable’

‘My jaw is on the floor,’ one viewer writes

A woman has shared the “childish” texts she received from a man she met on a dating app while reflecting on their brief encounter.

In a video posted to TikTok, Nik, who goes by @__nikk1, shared a screenshot of texts she received from a man named “Josh” after their first date. In the caption, she wrote: “This is why dating is miserable.”

Before getting into the texts, she gave viewers some backstory about the date, explaining that she and Josh “absolutely hit it off” and spent six hours together.

Nik also explained that they had planned to see each other again after Josh returned from his work trip, but that he’d never reached out to her. According to the video, she texted him on a Friday about meeting on Sunday, but he didn’t respond, so she “never expected to hear from him again.”

However, a few days later, Josh ended up responding with a text, apologising for getting back to her so late and saying that he didn’t want to ghost her. However, Nik noted that this apology didn’t feel genuine, so she called him out for ignoring her.

“I was very polite about it,” she said. “I was like, look, what do you expect from me? Or we just gonna kind of forget that you disappeared and couldn’t at least be honest that you weren’t able to see me last Sunday.”

In response, Josh explained why he didn’t enjoy their date. “Honestly, I wasn’t hot with urgency because I noted you excused yourself to go to the bathroom when the cheque came for dinner and also drinks and I hate it when girls do that,” the text from him reads in Nik’s video. “It’s exceptionally rude and cheap; and really disrespectful and I felt like you really didn’t care despite what I felt from you.”

Nik said that she actually left before the bill came, and didn’t even realise it was coming when she went to the bathroom. Josh then sent a few more messages that weren’t true, according to Nik, as he claimed that Nik was the one who “picked the restaurant.”

He further expressed what he wants in a relationship, noting that he was looking for someone to “innately feel the need to pay for what they ordered (or at least offer) without assuming [he’ll] cover it.” He also claimed that he didn’t like using money from his “trust fund” to “cover for other girls’ drinks”.

The video has more than 1.5m views so far, with many viewers claiming that Nik is better off without Josh. “Oh sis you dodged a bullet,” one viewer wrote, while another said: “This would be SO hard for me not to stick up for myself. He’s clearly delusional.”

Other comments claimed that what Josh said about his “trust fund” may not have been true. “Please I’m so embarrassed for him…if he’s broke just say that,” one user wrote.

“The way he desperately wanted to mention his trust fund,” another viewer commented.

On 30 December, Nik posted a follow-up video on TikTok, where she detailed why the texts bothered her, specifically that he took “eight days to reach out” instead of just letting her know that “he was unavailable” to see her.

Nik then noted that if Josh had these issues about her paying on their date, he should have said that to her before planning a time to meet with her again.

“He’s saying that he wanted to try again, but if you had these red flags for me and you think that I ‘intentionally’ got up and left you with the cheque, why would you want to try again,” she said.

She also recalled that she ordered one of the “least expensive” entrees on the menu and how he kept “harping” on the fact that he had to pay for everything. However, when they got ice cream after dinner, Nik said that she not only paid for herself, but she offered to get Josh something. He turned the offer down. She also noted that she had no idea that he had a “trust fund” and claimed he’s “clearly insecure about it”.

“This man has some serious red flag money issues,” she added.

According to the Harvard Business Review, assumptions shouldn’t be made about who is paying on the first date, and people should be “open about money right from the get-go.”

“If you would like to take care of the check, it’s best to gauge how the other person feels about it first,” the publication states. “For instance, you might say: ‘How should we handle the bill? I know these conversations are a little awkward, but I’d love to cover it if you don’t mind.’”

The Independent has reached out to Nik for a comment.