Woman applauded for demoting cousin from wedding party

‘Your wedding, your guest list. End of discussion,’ reader argues

A woman’s decision to demote her cousin from her wedding party was met with unanimous online approval.

To ensure her actions were valid, the wife-to-be detailed her reasons on Reddit’s popular confession forum, Am I The A**hole. The original poster had been planning for her cousin to be a bridesmaid but that changed when she requested a questionable plus-one.

“My cousin is currently dating my ex,” the bride started before prefacing the fact that they ended their three-and-a-half-year relationship “amicably.” Still, she had no desire to entertain her previous partner on her big day.

Bride tells her cousin she can’t be in the bridal party (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

The Reddit user added: “Although I no longer have feelings for him, I do not want him at my wedding, a day that is incredibly important to me. I do not want him there to potentially overshadow the happiness of the occasion.”

Aside from her own feelings, the Redditor worried for her cousin, noting how they hadn’t been seeing each other for that long. She later admitted that they have only been dating for four months, getting together three years after the Redditor and him had broken up. If he came to the wedding, that would mean he would be in photos, likely with the family.

“I worry that if they break up, my cousin will be glad that he is not in any of the photos,” the Reddit user added.

When her cousin inevitably asked if she could bring her boyfriend, the bride’s ex, the Reddit writer firmly told her he couldn’t come. Her cousin quickly got upset, pleading her case for why he should be allowed to take part in the festivities.

The Reddit user said: “Feeling frustrated, I finally told her that if she insisted on having him there, then I would rather she not be there at all. Now she is angry with me.”

Though the bride understands why her cousin wants her boyfriend to be her date for the occasion, she doesn’t want to sacrifice her own feelings, and her partner’s feelings, just to make her cousin happy.

“I understand where my cousin is coming from, but I feel that she is not considering my feelings and the feelings of my own partner, whom I also have to consider when planning wedding,” she remarked.

After reading over the Reddit user’s post, anonymous viewers flood the comments section, candidly writing their thoughts. Overall, most readers felt as though the original poster did the right thing by standing her ground and drawing the boundary.

“NTA - your wedding, your guest list. End of discussion,” one supporter wrote, while another agreed: “I think it’s fine for her to have asked you as you did end amicably with him but she should have accepted your no straight away as it’s your wedding.”

“What true family member would date their cousin’s ex? That’s just nasty and weird. She’s more weird for wanting to bring him to your wedding, plain nasty,” one reader commented.

Another person argued: “I’m assuming the cousin knew they were your EX before she started dating him. Choices have consequences and this is a consequence of her choice.”