Man defended for skipping brother’s celebration dinner after he wasn’t invited to his wedding

‘I didn’t see the need to celebrate something I wasn’t even invited to,’ Reddit user says

Amber Raiken
New York
Thursday 15 August 2024 04:12 BST
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Related: Groom disinvites parents from wedding after they disagree with his decision to break tradition

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A man has been defended online after he refused to attend his brother’s celebratory dinner because he wasn’t invited to the older sibling’s wedding.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole” Reddit forum, the 19-year-old man explained that he wasn’t invited to his older sibling’s nuptials because he wasn’t old enough to drink alcohol. “His wife decided it would be inappropriate to have anyone under 21 at their wedding since they would be serving alcohol and didn’t want any ‘minors’ to get drunk at their wedding,” he wrote.

He said that he first learned he wasn’t invited to the nuptials when he was 18, and “was kind of hurt” by the disinvite. The man noted that he even tried to convince his brother to change his mind, but it didn’t work.

“I asked them to reconsider a couple of times and they refused every time,” he explained. “I could tell they were getting aggravated after a while so I just stopped complaining and stopped caring about their wedding in general.”

The Reddit user went on to share that he was invited out to dinner with his older brother and their family to celebrate the wedding, but he turned the invitation down. Although he tried to explain the reason why, the groom was upset by his younger sibling’s decision to skip the event.

“When asked why, I gave everyone the same answer: ‘I didn’t see the need to celebrate something I wasn’t even invited to,’” he explained. “At the time, my parents didn’t say much and kind of respected my decision until my brother and his wife got upset at dinner when they realized I wasn’t there. I had already TOLD them I wasn’t going to go, so I had no idea why they expected me to show up.”

After the dinner, the groom and his new wife texted the younger sibling, saying “they were upset that [he] couldn’t spare some time so the whole family could be there to celebrate with them.” The Reddit user concluded his post by once again explaining his family’s thoughts about the situation.

“My parents are trying to remain neutral, but I think they believe I’m wrong. They told me they saw why I didn’t go but that it wouldn’t have hurt me to go and celebrate with my brother, especially since I wasn’t the only one not invited on our side,” the post continued.

He also clarified that two of his younger cousins, who were 13 and 15, attended the dinner. However, he claimed that “they didn’t really have a choice in whether they wanted to or not,” and said he wasn’t the “only one” who chose not to go to the dinner.

The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 16,000 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people not only defended the man’s decision to skip the dinner, but also criticized the groom for not inviting his brother to the wedding just because he was 19.

“With all due respect, your brother’s a jerk for allowing this behavior, and his wife is acting with such stupidity. Not to mention, you were 18, you were not a minor,” one fellow Reddit user commented. “Not only was she being stupid with this decision, but also the assumption that you would come and get drunk at your brother’s wedding is straight-up disrespectful. I’d be disappointed with my brother.”

“It was rude, hurtful, and silly of them not to invite you,” another person wrote. “I also think it’s kind of ridiculous that they had a follow-up dinner to celebrate their wedding and demanded everybody attend. Who does that? Their actual wedding and reception weren’t enough? I feel like they need to be the center of attention all the time.”

A third user agreed: “Even if he was underage, which c’mon 19? He’s nuclear family, his brother. The direct family still gets invited. OP’s bro and SIL owe him a big apology.”

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