Woman defended after ‘upstaging bride’ with her wedding guest look

‘I think you had taken every possible precaution with your outfit, in fact much more than most people would have,’ one person responds on Reddit

A woman has been defended after she “upstaged” the bride with her outfit as a wedding guest.

In a recent post shared on the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a woman detailed how she was accused of “upstaging the bride”, with an outfit that she said was “approved prior to the wedding”. She specified that before the event, she asked the groom for the dress code, which was “dressing up to our nines in neutrals and pastels”.

She went on to note that when she found a “lovely saree that fit the bill”, she sent a picture of it to the groom and he told her it was “perfect for the wedding”. The Reddit user specified that five months before the wedding, she also showed the bride pictures of the saree, which was linked in the post. According to the description of the product, the saree was a “dove grey” colour.

In her Reddit post, the woman went on to describe how the bride approved of the outfit. “I also told her I’d be happy to buy a new outfit if it wasn’t. So whatever she says will go. She said it was delightful,” she wrote, before claiming that the bride told her that she’d have some “culture” in her wedding pictures because of the saree.

She noted that when the wedding day arrived, most people were “in the back for the ceremony,” so not many people were focused on her. She then explained that when the ceremony was over, the bride changed into a look that was similar to the wedding guest.

“The majority and outer layer of her gown was still white. Only the embroidery was the same colour as my saree and the underneath fabric had a hint of the same grey as mine (thus making it greyish),” she wrote.

The wedding guest added that during the reception, multiple people complimented her outfit, including the groom and his mother. She also specified that the groom’s mother is “half-Indian” and also wore a saree to the wedding, so seeing someone else in one “seemed to be sentimental for her”.

However, according to the Reddit user, the bride and bridesmaids were not pleased with her grey saree. She then recalled some of the negative reactions that people had to her outfit, since it appeared to look white.

“The bride gave me the stink eye. A bridesmaid tried to spill her drink on me,” she wrote. “Another commented if my outfit was going to turn out white in the pictures. When we showed up to get group pictures done, I thoughtlessly ended up standing next to the couple. The bride made moves so that I ended up at the very corner by the time the photographer started clicking.”

She also claimed that when it was time for the bride to throw the bouquet, the maid of honour asked the Reddit user if “she was going to try to catch it,” with claims that the wedding guest had already gotten “enough attention for the day”.

The woman concluded her post by noting that when she asked her friends if her “behaviour of outfit was inappropriate, they didn’t think anything of it”.

The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 8,600 upvotes, as of 22 February. In the comments, many people have defended the woman and her outfit, since the look had been approved before the wedding. They also criticised the bridal party’s reaction to the outfit.

“You just met a school of mean girls. There is no telling what such people will get up to. I think you had taken every possible precaution with your outfit, in fact much more than most people would have,” one wrote.

“You asked her and she approved the outfit. She should have spoken up when you asked or even a couple days later would be okay too. But not giving you the stink eye on the big day itself after having approved and known of the dress,” another agreed.

“If you hadn’t shown the bride a photo prior to the wedding I’d vote differently but you did show her. You asked her opinion, and the opinions of several other people. Maybe she thought it was a darker grey than it is? But it’s pretty clear in the picture that it’s a light grey…” a third wrote. “Sounds like you just came upon petty mean girls who peaked in high school and have never left that mentality behind.”

Other readers noted the while the outfit looked similar to the white colour of a dress, they still agreed wedding guest was in the right to wear it, since she followed every proper measure before doing so.

“I won’t lie, I was a little concerned about the colour when I clicked on your pictures link. But if the bride approved it, she doesn’t get to change her mind on the day of... Of course you were going to get attention on the day for wearing a saree and adding ‘culture’ but she made a mistake. Oh well,” one wrote.

“I think it was very considerate of you to get her approval before the wedding. Apparently she should have shown it to her friends before rendering judgement. That way she could have known much sooner that she DIDN’T like it,” another added.