Why you should date yourself this winter
The hashtag #dateyourself has 54.5M views on TikTok – Imy Brighty-Potts finds out all about it.
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Your support makes all the difference.Single or not, dating yourself is the hot new trend on TikTok encouraging people to treat themselves with a bit of compassion.
Dating yourself is a “way of replenishing your emotional resources and boosting your self-esteem”, explains Hayley Quinn, dating expert for Match (match.com).
“Investing in yourself and time spent by yourself is so important. Often it’s in our alone time that we get clarity about what’s important to us, recharge and do something that nourishes who we are as a person. So instead of seeing a date-free night as a failure, see it as an important opportunity to reset and get to know yourself better.”
Here’s everything you need to know about the uplifting new trend…
Knowing the value of your time
“If you truly value the time you spend with yourself, you’ll have higher standards for who shares that time. Instead of pursuing relationships from a space of need, where you’re trying to dodge feelings of loneliness, take the time to discover what makes you happy and learn to enjoy your own space,” advises Quinn.
“Getting comfortable by yourself means you’re less likely to say ‘yes’ to that ‘meh’ date, because you feel like you’ve got nothing better to do. You may also feel more able to turn down last minute offers for ‘hangouts’, and prioritise high-quality dates as you feel less pressure to fill up your social calendar. You may also realise you don’t need a partner to go on holiday or to go out and do something fun, you can give yourself all of those treats solo.”
Prioritising alone time
Learning to value your own company might help boost your mental health.
“If you’re constantly jumping from work to date, to social commitment, then you’re not giving yourself much processing time to work out how you actually feel about things. If you feel constantly stressed, tired and ‘switched on’, some alone time might be just what you need to slow down and gain perspective,” explains Quinn.
Not just for singles
Dating yourself is a way of prioritising your needs and independence, with Quinn saying it “doesn’t end when you enter into a relationship”.
She continues: “Whether it’s taking yourself out for dinner when your partner has an important work deadline or reading your book in the bath, take time to reconnect with yourself. Being in a relationship is certainly not a contract to spend every waking minute with that person.”
Self-care doesn’t have to cost a fortune
“Whilst you can go on a solo city break or out for a meal by yourself, dating yourself doesn’t have to be that extravagant!” says Quinn.
Instead, Quinn recommends focusing on mindfulness, saying: “Anything that involves putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and giving yourself some headspace can be great. That could be listening to some music and going for a long walk, or having a candlelit bath.”