Sex at work: Queen of the office

Louise Jury talks to Judi James. Tomorrow we publish the first extract from her guide to workplace passion

JUDI JAMES says don't do it. Sex in the office is a big, big mistake. Anyone on the fast track to success must know that passion and promotion don't mix. "If you are truly career-minded and that is your sole goal, it is better to leave it out," she says. "A good career needs planning, and it will become unstable if sex gets in the way. You lose a certain amount of control."

But for the rest of us, Judi is more realistic. She acknowledges that thousands may be tempted at some point by Brian or Brenda in accounts, so she simply offers a few words of advice. In her new book, Sex at Work, A Survival Guide, Judi says think twice, count to 10, and try to look several steps ahead. Oh yes, and avoid the temptation to do anything incriminating on the photocopier.

"Too many people say, `I wish I had thought about it beforehand'," she says. It's all very well claiming you'll be adults about it. But nobody is an adult in relationships, we're all childish. One of the greatest lies of our time is, `If we break up, it won't affect our working relationship'."

Judi advocates cold rationality before making a move. "Fancying someone you work with is not a criminal offence - neither is asking them out." But, she warns, consider the consequences first. "Yes, I know you're only going to ask him/her down the pub, not down the aisle, but it's always best to study every angle of a situation before taking the plunge."

Her advice on sex in the office comes not from experience of photocopiers and coffee machines. She has never worked in an office in her life, although she suffered from serious sexual harassment - which was then par for the course - when she worked as a model in the Seventies. "It was that type of era. We got used to fighting men off at photographic sessions, and we didn't really realise it wasn't acceptable," she says.

But for the last 15 years, five days a week, she has been running training courses for business and industry on public image and on office behaviour. In between writing racy bonkbuster novels, she has written books including Body Talk - The Skills of Positive Image and The Office Jungle. And the need for guidance is such that it is the Industrial Society, a training and advisory organisation which campaigns to improve life at work, which is publishing the new guide.

With a touch of humour, Sex at Work addresses sex on two fronts - the office relationship, illicit or otherwise, and the more serious question of sexual harassment. In the words of the blurb, it is a "timely guide for all those who need to negotiate the minefield between gentle flirtation and blatant sexual harassment". Judi presents rules for surviving the office party, outlines the perils of getting caught in a compromising position on the security camera and clues on spotting a colleague porn surfing on the Internet.

"Probably up until about five years ago, I wouldn't have wanted to touch such a book with a broom pole," Judi says. "Industry went through a terribly politically correct era when even looking at somebody's ankles was a hanging offence. You couldn't have written anything with any humour attached. But now people have got their sense of humour back. A lot of company policies and general culture are more relaxed."

Yet the serious side of the office is manifest in the newspaper headlines. Cases of sexual harassment continue to end up at industrial tribunals and the failed office affair still has the capacity to cause frosty relations. "It's like that advert," Judi says, having spoken to hundreds of workers about harassment in the course of her research. "I've never done it, but I know a man who does."

Judi has found some male managers terrified to be left alone in their office with a woman member of staff for fear of a sexual harassment claim. "If they've got a good career with a marriage and wife and family, they fear they could lose everything," she says.

And even a relationship that was desired last October may become a nightmare by March. "It's horribly, horribly, horribly serious when it goes wrong," she says. "People need to work as a team in offices and partnerships upset the balance anyway. Even if you take sex out of the situation, people are bad at working together."

Some careers still discourage relationships, either in or outside the office, Judi says. The City and the law are, in general, less open-minded than media companies, for instance. Yet employers who ignore the possibility of passion are fooling themselves. Work is still where many people first set eyes on their future partner. It is estimated that up to half of couples meet at the office. Judi simply wants to stop the mistakes.

On the question of sexual harassment, however, she takes a more serious line. Fifteen per cent of men and 54 per cent of working women admit to having experienced sexual harassment. This is where she hopes employers, as well as employees will take note of the book. "If there is a message, it is that employers need to iron out a good policy on sexual harassment so that managers know what to do and so the employees know what their rights are."

A lot of it comes down to common sense, she says, but people should be made aware when they are causing offence. And, increasingly, men are as likely to be the victims as women - even though they do not always admit it. "Guys say, `I should be so lucky,' but they're envisaging a beautiful female boss who asks them to strip off," Judi says. "A lot of situations that were described to me by men were stories that women would perceive as sexual harassment."

For a woman with some stern advice, Judi James is remarkably warm and open. She has a broad smile and a ready laugh. With long blonde hair and long slim legs, she is probably accustomed to a certain amount of attention.

In essence, she claims she doesn't want to stop people having fun and seems relieved that the office affair is still alive and kicking. She is keen to strike a balance. "Some things are more important than work," she says. Ambition regardless, she suspects she would have fallen foul of her own advice given half an opportunity. "If I'd ever worked in an office, I would have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. I'm probably one of the least sensible people I know."

But you only have to look at a few high-profile cases to realise the wisdom of ensuring your sexual signals are not misread. Judi muses on the allegations besieging US President. "I'd love to know whether Bill Clinton would be in this position now if somebody had said something to him," she says. "Maybe I should send him a copy of the book."

`Sex At Work: A Survival Guide', by Judi James, is available in bookshops from 3 April, price pounds 8.99, or call 0121 410 3040.

Tomorrow: bosom-brushing, thigh patting, huggy greetings: your guide to what is and what isn't harassment.