Ryan Reynolds says he’s ‘grateful’ he wrote a healing letter to his father before he died

‘I know for a fact it meant the world to him’

Deadpool & Wolverine star Ryan Reynolds (Getty Images for Disney)

Ryan Reynolds says he is “grateful” that he wrote a letter to his father before he died.

In an interview with People, the Deadpool & Wolverine star candidly spoke about how the death of his father a decade ago still affects him to this day. His father, James Chester Reynolds, died in 2015 at the age of 74 after a nearly 20-year battle with Parkinson’s disease. Since then, the 47-year-old actor has reflected on his relationship with his late father.

“I know who I am now,” the actor reflected on the past decade. “I’ve known who I am for the last 10 or so years, and my father’s been gone for those years. But as I look back, I’m constantly putting pieces of the story together that I wasn’t really accepting my own responsibility.”

His father was a former police officer who preferred to tough it out rather than speak of what was happening to him, Ryan has said, which led it to be difficult for him and his father to be vulnerable with each other and eventually led them to become estranged. James was also grappling with delusions and hallucinations as a result of the disease.

“At the time, I just thought my dad’s just losing his mind,” Ryan recalled, noting that it was only later on he learned his father was struggling with two lesser-known symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. “There would be conspiratorial webs that he would spin about ‘this is happening’ and that ‘these people might be after me’ or ‘this person is out to get me.’ And just stuff that was just so wildly, such a wild departure from the man that I grew up with and knew.”

Reynolds and his wife Blake Lively at the Deadpool & Wolverine premiere (Getty Images)

Even though they had become estranged, Ryan penned a heartfelt letter to his father months before his death.

“I sent my dad a letter probably about maybe five months before he died, which I’m very grateful I did,” he revealed. “The letter was basically a list of every amazing thing he ever did. Every time he showed up or every time he had a catch with me outside after baseball practice. Every time he just was there. And if the man couldn’t express his emotions in a way that was dynamic, well, many people can’t.”

“The guy was born in the ‘40s. It’s okay,” he added. “So I’m super grateful that I sent that letter. I know for a fact it meant the world to him, and it went back from my earliest memories to present day or as close to present day as possible. So I did get that closure, but I wasn’t with him when he passed away, and I do wish I was.”

Learning more about what was going on with his father inspired Ryan to partner with the educational campaign More to Parkinson’s, a program that offers resources to professionals and caregivers.

In the decade since his father died, Ryan welcomed four children with his wife, Blake Lively, naming their eldest daughter “James” as a tribute to his late father, and cemented his Hollywood stardom with his role as the titular character in the Marvel Deadpool series.