Details of Queen Victoria and Albert’s arguing revealed in letters

‘You hurt me desperately and at the same time do not help yourself,’ the Prince Consort wrote

Saman Javed
Thursday 23 September 2021 09:21 BST
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Prince Albert (L) and Queen Victoria (R) at Buckingham Palace
Prince Albert (L) and Queen Victoria (R) at Buckingham Palace (Getty Images)

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Prince Albert’s personal letters to Queen Victoria, some of which detailed arguments between the couple, have been made available online.

The letters, which were previously only seen by historians, have been published by the Royal Collection Trust as part of its project on the life and legacy of the Prince Consort.

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert married in February 1840, four months after their engagement in October 1839.

In one letter, written in Albert’s native German and translated by the Mail Online, he accuses the Queen of losing her “self-control” during an argument.

“You have again lost your self-control quite unnecessarily. I did not say a word which could wound you and I did not begin the conversation, but you have followed me about and continued it from room to room,” he said.

“There is no need for me to promise to trust you for it was not a question of trust, but of your fidgety nature, which makes you insist on entering, with feverish eagerness, into details about orders and wishes which, in the case of a Queen, are commands to whomever they may be given.”

He added: “I look upon this with patience as a test which has to be undergone, but you hurt me desperately and at the same time do not help yourself.”

Queen Victoria and Albert had nine children during their 21-year marriage.

In another letter, he criticises the Queen for “always correcting” and “scolding” their children, rather than enjoying their company.

“‘It is indeed a pity that you find no consolation in the company of your children,’ he said.

“The root of the difficulty lies in the mistaken notion that the function of a mother is to be always correcting, scolding, ordering them about and organising their activities.

“It is not possible to be on happy, friendly terms with people you have just been scolding, for it upsets scolder and scolded alike,” he added.

The Trust has also translated and published a loving letter from Albert to his “dearest deeply loved Victoria”, written during their short engagement.

As royal tradition dictated that no one could propose to a reigning monarch – and Victoria took the throne in 1837 – she proposed to Albert during his second visit to Windsor Castle.

Shortly afterwards, Albert returned to Germany to settle his affairs before the wedding. This meant the couple were apart for much of their engagement.

“I need not tell you that since we left, all my thoughts have been with you at Windsor, and that your image fills my whole soul,” his letter said.

“Even in my dreams I never imagined that I should find so much love on earth. How that moment shines for me still when I was close to you, with your hand in mine. Those days flew by so quickly, but our separation will fly equally so,” it added.

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