Man sparks outrage over night out with female colleague without mentioning girlfriend

‘Just dump him and move on,’ one person urged a Reddit user, after hearing about her experience with her boyfriend

A man’s girlfriend texted his co-worker after suspecting he was cheating (Getty Images)

A man has sparked outrage after his girlfriend discovered he was hanging out with a female co-worker without mentioning that he was in a relationship.

In a recent post shared to the popular “Relationship Advice” Reddit forum, a woman asked if she was in the wrong for messaging her boyfriend’s colleague, since she suspected he was cheating. She explained that after visiting her partner in his office, she noticed him with a co-worker, who he referred to as “a work friend named Addy.”

The Reddit user explained that when she saw them together, she assumed they were just having a work-related discussion. However, when she learned the co-worker’s name, she remembered seeing that name on her boyfriend’s Instagram notifications. When she asked if the co-worker was the same person on Instagram, and why he hadn’t mentioned Addy before, he wasn’t happy.

“He told me to chill, and that if I’m thinking of something malicious, know that she is not his type,” she wrote about her conversation with her partner. “I asked if I could see what they were chatting on Instagram about, and he said I was being toxic and that I was invading his privacy. I said if it’s nothing, why can’t he just show it?”

He then wanted “some time alone,” so he asked his girlfriend to stay with her family.

The woman noted that two weeks after the incident, her boyfriend got drunk at a party, and he had to help carry him to bed from her car. As she was getting ready to go to sleep, she saw a notification on his phone from Addy, who texted: “U Up?”

I (28F) messaged my boyfriend's (28M) coworker because I think he wants to cheat on me with her. Is it ok?
byu/ThrowRA_unheardcat inrelationship_advice

From there, the woman decided to read the messages, discovering that her boyfriend and Addy went “to see the city lights, watch a movie, and play minigolf” on the night she went to her parents’ house.

“The messages also indicated that he picked her up from her place. She doesn’t know that we’re together, maybe,” she explained. “I told her I was my boyfriend’s girlfriend and I sent photos of my boyfriend and I together with timestamps on them. I told her that I knew when they went out [and] asked her not to message my boyfriend until I figured everything out.”

Despite not getting an immediate response, she saw Addy removed her boyfriend from her followers on Instagram “a few minutes later.” In an update to the post, she said Addy responded to the message, explaining she didn’t know he had a girlfriend.

“[Addy said] ‘The first time we hung out was because I wanted to try this particular restaurant and he offered to take me, and the second was just for a coffee. You don’t have to worry about me. It was a friendly hangout until the end,’” the post continued.

In her message, Addy told her colleague’s girlfriend that she “felt bad” for her and that she was “sorry this happened.” She clarified that she wouldn’t have gone out with him if she knew he was in a relationship and that she “won’t be associating with him now.”

When the poster asked Addy if she did see the city lights and go mini-golfing with him, she said: “He asked for a kiss at our last meeting and I rejected him.”

In the comments, readers criticized the Reddit user’s boyfriend for how he treated her and urged her to end the relationship.

“Sounds like he took Addy on a date. Just dump him and move on, don’t message the other woman anymore cause she’s not the issue. Your (hopefully soon-to-be ex) boyfriend is,” one wrote.

“If Addy deleted him from Instagram, it’s safe to assume that Addy thought they were dating. Therefore she likely didn’t even know about you,” another responded. “He was cheating for sure. I’d move out in the middle of the night without a word. He will act like he has no idea why but he will know.”

“He’s cheating on you, if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be hiding their meetups and gaslighting you. I’m sure if you had just asked her she would have told you the same thing. Why do you want to stay or figure out anything with a person like this??” a third claimed.